Following is a link to my Sermon delivered on April 7, 2024
Hitty: Her First Hundred Years by Rachel Field
Hitty is a small wooden doll of about 6 inches with movable arms and legs made from white ash by a peddler for the daughter of a sea captain in the 1820s. Now residing in an antique store in the 1920s, she has put pen to paper and written the memoirs of her various adventures and travels. This book was the 1930 winner of the Newbery Medal given for children’s literature and was inspired by a doll owned by the author Rachel Field.
I can say as a child I probably never would have read this book and would have given the stink-eye to any librarian who suggested it for me. I was not the kind of young girl who played with dolls. I only picked up and read this book because of my goal of reading all the Newbery Medal winners throughout the years. As an adult I am still not a “doll” person, yet I did find this to be an interesting story to read. I could see how the appeal of a tale from a doll’s perspective could be intriguing to a youngster who does like to play with dolls. And perhaps even to an older individual who collects dolls as a hobby.
Written from the first person view of the doll is a creative and imaginative decision by the author. Within the accounts of her adventures the reader is giving small glimpses into changes of society throughout Hitty’s hundred years of life. Over that span of time she travels by carriage, whaling ship, train, and finally in an automobile. She comments on the various thrills, excitement, and fear that each of these evoke from her. She ends up living in places such as Maine, India, New England, and New Orleans. Likewise, as she finds herself passing from owner to owner, mostly by being lost by one and then found by another, she remarks on the changes in clothes that people wear, family dynamics, and social issues of the day. Obviously, none of this is delved into very deeply by the author, but again I found the idea of seeing such changes through the doll as an impartial and outside observer an interesting way to view such things. As a book for children, it at the least might have inspired them to want to learn more about some part of history or culture that is only lightly touched upon within it’s pages.
As a book written in 1929, it must be noted that it does contain some dialect ascribed to certain characters and words ascribed to natives of an island that may seem offensive to modern readers. An astute and mature reader can, or at least in my opinion should, be able to take such things in stride and take into account the always changing attitudes in what is the norm of a certain period of time. I personally, don’t even think these few problematic passages are enough to “corrupt” the thinking or attitude of a young reader today. But I also admit I am not an expert in childhood development nor am I a children’s librarian with experience and knowledge on what books are best to recommend to children.
All I can say is that as an adult reader (and secret aspiring writer) I found the story idea unique and well-written and well-crafted.
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Are You Ready for Christ(mas)?
Following is the text of my Sermon for the 1st Sunday of Advent on December 3, 2023
Scripture: Isaiah 64:1-9
Are you ready for Christmas? I’m sure by this point everyone has both asked that question of others and been asked that question by other people. The typical answers people provide usually run along the lines of recounting how many presents have been bought, how many decorations have been put up, how many baked goods have been prepared, how many party plans have been made and things such as that. All good answers. However, there is a more important question that should be considered during this time. That is this: Are you ready for Christ? This is the first Sunday of Advent. This is a time of waiting and preparation. This is a time when we are invited to once again look for and anticipate a new understanding of the mystery and the wonder of the Incarnation, the coming of Emmanuel with us. God in the flesh to dwell and exist with and among us in a new way.
This morning we lit the Candle of Hope. We must start the time of Advent with a focus on Hope. We must cultivate an attitude of Hope to be ready to continue the preparation to look for the Peace, Joy, and Love that is also being presented and offered during this time. When people feel hopeless, they aren’t in a place to be ready to expect good things. So, we must begin with Hope.
At first, this Scripture from Isaiah doesn’t seem to be a good choice for a message of hope. It is a message of lament. A cry of desperation in the midst of trouble. Where is the hope? It’s there. And we will get to it. But first, it helps to know the context of this passage of Isaiah. The prophet’s words come during the time of the Israelites return from exile. They have returned to their land but things aren’t all back to the glory days yet. The temple has not been rebuilt. They are not feeling God’s presence in a powerful way. We started with the words, “O that you would tear open the heavens and come down, so that the mountains would quake at your presence.” Isaiah, on behalf of the people, is imploring God to make his presence known in a powerful and unmistakable way. I think we can all relate to that feeling. We all have moments when we are waiting to hear a message from God and we long to have it delivered in a way that makes it clear and easy to receive. I know I have longed for that in my life many times when I feel God has been too silent and too quiet for too long.
When I read that passage it brought to mind one specific Christmas memory from my childhood. It was the year I had requested that Santa bring me a typewriter as my gift. I woke up Christmas morning and there it was. That was exciting enough to see. But to top it off, there was a sheet of paper loaded in the typewriter with a note from Santa thanking us for the cookies and milk and wishing us a Merry Christmas. A personal message from Santa Clause – now that was really exciting. Not to mention that now I had proof that he existed for all those doubters in my life. So, while I read these words in Isaiah, I thought how I would rewrite and reword it in my own words. I would say, “O that you would open my computer and come down and compose a letter, email or text message to show me your presence.” It would be helpful at times to hear so directly from God.
Isaiah continues and reminds God of the awesome deeds of the past and how the mountains had quaked at his presence. But, it had been a long time since things like that had taken place. Now, Isaiah does declare and admit and confess on behalf of the people why that is true. The people had sinned, they had turned away from God, they had been full of iniquity. They were not blameless. They were deserving of punishment and correction from God. But, Isaiah doesn’t stop there. He goes one step further. He implicates God as part of the problem as well. In verse 5 he says, “But you were angry, and we sinned; because you hid yourself we transgressed.” He doesn’t completely say it’s God’s fault necessarily. But, in what I see has a kind of gutsy move, he does imply that God can’t ignore his role in this situation as well. What I hear in these words is Isaiah saying something along the lines of, “Look God, you know how we people are. You know we have trouble always being obedient. We are prone to make bad decisions and stray from the right path. When you hide yourself from us you should expect and know by now that on our own, things are going to get worse.” Isaiah is not exactly trying to excuse the people’s misbehavior and sin. He is acknowledging that this relationship is broken and in shambles. And he is saying that both parties have had a role in that.
Again, so far, we don’t see much of a message of hope in these words of lamentation. Isaiah continues in verse 6 and admits the people “have all become like one who is unclean” and their “righteous deeds are like a filthy cloth” and they “all fade like a leaf” and their “iniquities, like the wind” have taken them away. Yep, not seeing too much hope in those words.
It is in verse 8 when we finally begin to see a turn. It is here that Isaiah’s words become less lamentation and more of a plea. It is here that we begin to see a message of hope. This turn begins with a very powerful three letter word. Isaiah says, “Yet.” It’s a small but powerful word that signals a change in tone. It is what begins to offer a small glimmer of light in a dark situation. Despite the mess, despite the troubles, despite the desperate situation Isaiah expresses the hope that things not only can change but that they will change. Hear the words of verse 8, “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” This harkens to a similar passage, which is one of my favorites, in Jeremiah where that prophet is sent to the potter’s house to receive the message and lesson that it is God who shapes and molds us. What a wonderful and personal image of God. This is an image of an up close and personal God directly involved in our lives. I hope you have at some time seen either in person or a video of someone working at a pottery wheel. It’s a messy, hands-on process. Initially, the process is not so much violent, but is intense. The potter begins by slapping the mixture of clay and water together and begins to form a rough outline of whatever the work is meant to be. Then as the process continues, the work becomes more delicate and focused on minor details. That is how God works in our own lives. First, it is in a broad manner. The purpose is to awaken in us an awareness of who God is and how he loves us and more importantly our need and dependence on him. Then as we continue to yield ourselves, our plans, and our decisions to his guidance God then begins the more delicate workings in our lives, gently and lovingly making us into the uniquely designed image of the Creator he has destined for us.
Therein, lies our hope. A loving God who wants to be that close and involved in our lives. And to do that, he sent Jesus, the Word made flesh, into this world as a tiny baby in a manger. The God who has the power to tear open the heavens and make the mountains quake in his Presence, instead decided to enter this world as a helpless little child. This willingness to so embody himself to truly experience what we experience is an amazing example of love. We talk often of Jesus and his willingness to die for us. But it starts here. It starts with him willing to live with us. To live with humanity in all of its messiness, struggles, and trials.
The author C. S. Lewis wrote:
God could, had he pleased, have been incarnate in a man of iron nerves, the Stoic sort who lets no sigh escape him. Of his great humility he chose to be incarnate in a man of delicate sensibilities who wept at the grave of Lazarus and sweated blood in Gethsemane. . . . He has faced all that the weakest of us face, has shared not only the strength of our nature but every weakness of it except sin. If he had been incarnate in a man of immense natural courage, that would have been for many of us almost the same as his not being incarnate at all.
Hope. The Israelites hoped for and waited for the coming of their promised Savior. Remembering their time of hoping and waiting and learning and drawing on the inspiration of the faith they exemplified is part of what we are doing during this time of Advent. Admittedly, their moments of faith had its ups and downs and highs and lows. But, we can learn lessons from both their successes and their failures. Their hope was realized on that holy night of Christ’s birth.
And as I thought of all that time of hoping and waiting, I couldn’t help but leap forward a little in the story of Jesus’ birth narrative. Not far. Just forty days after his birth. That was when we read of his presentation at the temple by Joseph and Mary the purpose of which was to fulfill Mary’s ritual purification after childbirth and to perform the redemption of the firstborn which was in obedience to the Law of Moses. Hear this account of what happened while they were there.
From Luke 2:25-32
25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. 26 It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. 27 Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28 Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29 “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you may now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.
30 For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31 which you have prepared in the sight of all nations:
32 a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and the glory of your people Israel.”
At this moment in time Simeon represents and embodies all of that time of hoping and waiting. He had righteously and devoutly committed himself to the waiting of the consolation of Israel. Led by the Holy Spirit he showed up at the temple courts at the time the child Jesus was brought in. And he took the child in his arms, praised God, and said he could now be dismissed in peace because his eyes had seen God’s salvation. Think about that. Not only had he seen God’s salvation, but Simeon had also literally held the Hope of the World in his arms.
Hope. I said part of Advent is remembering Israel’s time of hoping and waiting. The other part is acknowledging our current period of hoping and waiting. We know the story of Jesus. We know how the rest of it ends. We know that the salvation work of the Cross has been accomplished. So, our hoping and our waiting are different. We are hoping and waiting for the return of Christ in his glory to fully redeem and restore the world and all of humanity. So we hope and we wait. But we don’t sit back and wait passively. It is time of active waiting and preparation.
As we heard at the end of the song In the Bleak Midwinter sung earlier in the service, give God what only you can give. Give him your heart.
Be open to letting the Potter mold you.
And know that like Simeon we can hold the Hope of the World in our arms. Not in a literal sense has he did. But still, as we look for a new revelation and understand of hope remember the Hope of the World is present with us here today.
I end with the question I began with. Are you ready for Christmas? More importantly are you ready for Christ? Are you ready to meet him once again anew and in a fresh way?
Waiting to Hear from God
O that you would tear open the heavens and come down, so that the mountains would quake at your presence –
Isaiah 64:1
While I am fortunate that I have many fond Christmases memories from my childhood, this year I have thinking about the year I got a typewriter from Santa Claus. I don’t remember how old I was. Now, it was not a fancy professional typewriter that one would find in a business office. Yet, it was more than just a toy typewriter. It was fully functional with a ribbon and held regular size paper. What made the gift more awesome that year was that Santa actually took the time to type out a short little note with it and leave it sitting in the typewriter. If I had ever doubted his existence, I didn’t that year – because I had proof!
I loved watching The Waltons when I was growing up. (Actually, I still do.) John Boy was my favorite character. I harbored a dream of growing up to be a female John Boy spending afternoons and evenings sitting at a desk typing away and producing pages and pages of insightful writing. I guess in a way that dream has come true. I have spent a lot of my life writing. Journaling, blogging here, writing for the church newsletter, and now as a pastor writing a weekly sermon. The determination of whether all those pages of writing are insightful or not I guess is left to others.
As I’m sitting here planning and working on my sermon for the First Sunday of Advent, I feel drawn to the Isaiah 64:1-9 portion of the Lectionary Readings. And as I read the first verse where Isaiah cries out, “O that you would tear open the heavens and come down,” I thought of how often I too cry out to God wanting to feel a powerful unmistakable feeling of the Divine Presence. And even more, a clear and discernible word telling me what to do, where to go, and how to be. If I could be allowed to re-write Isaiah’s words in my own way I would say, “O that you would open my computer and leave me a written note, text, or letter.” I mean, if Santa can do it I know God can do it.
And while I do believe, because I have proof of it as well from past experiences, God does speak to us and does give us messages it doesn’t always happen as clearly and visibly as I would like it to. Advent is a time of waiting. But it’s a time of active waiting. Advent invites us to wait and seek a new inspiration of a message of Hope from God. We hope to be encouraged by God’s Peace, Joy, and Love that is provided to us. And we hope to be inspired to find ways to continue to share that with others.
And so I will wait. But, as I wait I will remember and reflect on verse 8 of Isaiah 64: “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” As I wait I will be open to being reshaped and remolded as a vessel of God’s work. I will let God continue to make me what God wants me to be. And I’ll keep checking my computer for a special typed note. Well, because you just never know.
God’s Creation – My First Poem
When I first started sharing some of my poetry on this site, I swore to myself that I would never share this one. Because when I read it now I cringe and think about how awful it is. How it seems to be an example of everything a poem should not be from all my years of studying Literature and getting a degree in English. I recently changed my mind about sharing it and I’ll explain why below. But first, here is the very poorly written first poem of my life.
God's Creation
God created us all
Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall.
He created the sun so bright,
That comes up in the morning and goes
down at night.
He created trees with little green leaves.
He created voices to talk,
And legs to walk.
He created our sphere,
And divided it into hemispheres,
So we could live a good life,
Without any strife.
I’s okay if you cringed when you read it as well. I forgive you. It’s not great and it’s not full of beauty. Forced rhyme scheme. No imagery. Tells instead of shows. I could go on and on.
Except that I’ve come to realize that there is beauty in that poem. But to recognize that beauty you have to know that I wrote that poem in 1979 at the ripe old age of 9 years old. So now, the beauty to me is found in acknowledging, remembering, and respecting the fact that a 9 year old girl was trying her best to figure out who God was, what knowing who God was meant to her personally, and even what that meant to everyone else around her. That 9 year old girl was trying to find meaning and purpose in her life. Perhaps awkwardly, but at least she was trying. As an aside, this is about the same age of my life that I was trying to decide whether when I grew up if I wanted to be a bread truck driver or a missionary. I’ll share that story in a later post. It’s a great lead-in to the Call Story that I’ve had to share and present to others recently in my journey into ministry.
I often wonder what it would be like now, 44 years later, to go back in time and talk to that young girl. I wonder how she would feel if I told her that her search for answers, purpose, and meaning, and questions about God would still be ongoing. That even now that search is not complete. Would she find the news exciting and challenging, anticipating a life-long search of knowledge and learning? Or would she be discouraged and disappointed to discover that even that many years later she would still be struggling to know who she was and what she was suppose to be in relation to God? And even trying to figure out the mystery of this God in her life and others.
Perhaps, and most likely, it would be a little bit of both just as it is for me today. Sometimes the prospect of studying, thinking, struggling to discover new things is exciting and challenging. Other days I wake up and think, “This again? Life is too hard. I’m tired of trying to figure it all out.”
The one thing I do know is that I do still believe there is a God who created us all. And though the poem doesn’t possess the word “Love” in it, I do think that my 9 year old self was trying to say there is a God that loves us. And that is what my 53 year old self is still trying to say today. Both to others and to myself. Most days I still kind of do so in a very awkward manner. But beauty is found in the attempt and the earnestness and not necessarily always in the manner of conveyance. I pray that even the worst sermon I ever preach, whether in words or actions, still somehow conveys the love of God to someone. I’ve embraced (well mostly embraced) the fact that I’m always going to feel awkward in this world. But if God can use that awkwardness, I feel like all the worry, searching, and longing will be worth it in the end.
Prevenient Grace: God’s RSVP Before the Invitation is Sent
One of the major tenets in Wesleyan theology is the belief in Prevenient Grace. I know. It sounds intimidating and hard to understand. But it really shouldn’t be. Basically, it is the belief that God’s grace, God’s love, and God’s presence shows up in every place, time, or situation before we do. God is the One who goes before us and waits for us.
As I was mulling this week’s upcoming sermon, the idea of Prevenient Grace came to mind. And I began to look at it in a way I never had before.
Most of us have been there. You’re planning a party or a celebration and you send out invitations to the people you want to share this special day with. And you include a polite request that they respond to let you know if they can attend or not. Having a head count always makes it easier to plan for food, space, and other accommodations.
I realized that God gives us an RSVP promising to attend to every event and moment in our life before we even have the foresight and understanding of who God is. The moment we are born, and daresay even prior to that, God makes plans to be with us anywhere and everywhere we find ourselves to be. Not only plans to be there, but plans to arrive early to meet us there. God promises to be with us in all the major parties and celebrations of our lives. But, perhaps even more importantly, God promises to be there in the difficult times in our lives. When you are sitting at home alone, feeling lonely and burdened down with the cares of the world God is there just waiting to be invited into your pain and hurt.
Notice I now use the term invited. God does it a little backwards compared to what we are used to in our society. He offers the RSVP before we extend the invitation. Yet, he still waits for the invitation. Oh, he certainly shows up. But he waits to be invited into our lives before he fully participates.
Prevenient Grace. The RSVP card that arrives before you have even had a chance to put a postage stamp on the Invitation card. God showed up early. God is waiting. I hope you will consider inviting him into your life.
Not That Kind of Preacher
Last December I made plans to attend a Christmas concert at Lenoir-Rhyne University with a friend of mine. Her daughter is a member of the band there and would be performing in the concert. My friend’s daughter shared with her boyfriend that her mother was bringing a friend with her and that I was a preacher. (Technically, I wasn’t one yet but had begun the process.) The boyfriend responded with, “I guess that means I need to behave.” She then replied, “Oh no, don’t worry. She’s not that kind of preacher.” After sharing that story with me, later on both my friend and her daughter reached out and offered to apologize to me if I had been offended by those words. I assured them both that rather than being offended, I took them as a great compliment.
You see, I knew exactly what the daughter was trying to say. She knew I wasn’t the type of person to show up somewhere with a pious, holier than thou, judgmental attitude towards the people I find myself with. I don’t expect or want people to go out of their way to change who they are just because I’m around. I don’t mind seeing and knowing the real “you” that resides inside. Obviously, when we meet new people in any situation neither side needs to share everything about themselves with each other. Relationships certainly need to build trust before some hard things are revealed. But even on a first meeting with someone I don’t mind if they let the cracks show of who they are and what their personality is like even if they have this feeling that it’s something a preacher wouldn’t want to know.
When we look at Jesus’ ministry, we don’t see that he sent out advance teams of disciples or followers to the towns and houses to tell the people to tidy their homes, lives, language, and attitudes because someone holy was on the way. Instead, Jesus showed up right in the midst and messiness of peoples lives and sat with them and listened to them. It was then he would share the news of love, hope, and salvation he had to offer.
That is my goal for the kind of preacher I do want to be. I want to be able to show up, sit with people right in the midst of the messiness (and also joys and celebrations) and listen to them. And then share the news of love, hope, and salvation God has to offer. And hopefully, will be able to tailor it better to their particular situation.
I’ve jokingly told others that I thought about putting the tag-line “Not That Kind of Preacher” on business cards to hand out to people. At least it would be a good conversation starter and hopefully an ice breaker to people to allow them to know that I am open and willing to hear as much honesty from them that they are comfortable to share.
As I sit here and write this, I have just woken to the first day of my license as a Local Pastor being in effect. I pray that for as long as this is part of my life that I will continue to be “Not That Kind of Preacher” and instead be more and more like Jesus every day.
Blessings to you All!
Two Packs of Cookies and One Pack of Cake Rolls
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. That was what the lady in front of me in the checkout line pulled out of her grocery bags and handed back to the cashier when she discovered she didn’t have enough money on her card for everything she had picked out while shopping that evening. The lady had stated she was afraid she didn’t have enough for it all. And she was right. I don’t recall or didn’t see all the other items she had except for the 2 gallon jugs of milk, but my instinct and what I did see was it mostly consisted of typical normal everyday food items that people often need. There were no $100.00 steaks or lobsters with this purchase.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. One can argue that was the wise decision to put back. Sweets and desserts aren’t the necessary main staples we need for our diet. And if you’re like me, you don’t really need them at all. But come one, we all know how nice it is to enjoy a sweet treat like that every once in awhile. Sometimes we deserve nice frivolous things. Even if it is just a little cookie. I say this next part with all respect and no judgement in my heart. But one could tell with this lady’s appearance that she probably didn’t get to experience a whole lot of nice frivolous things currently in her life. Cookies and cake rolls could have been one of those that were a very special treat to her on some days.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I stood there watching this encounter with this lady with my own buggy full of a mixture of items including groceries, household items, dog treats, office items, shorts, and shoes that ultimately after I checked out came to a total of $277.00. That was more than my usual bill at this particular store when I shop there, but it had been awhile since I had been so I was stocking up on some things I needed. Needed, but didn’t need in the sense I couldn’t live without them. Also, I had already mentally prepared for the fact that this was going to be an expensive outing. And I was financially prepared for it as well. And still had money left over until next payday without dipping into any savings.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. As the lady was handing the items back to the cashier the thought came into my head, “Melissa, you could easily pay for those items for her.” If you know me I think you know what I’m going to say next. I obviously recognized that thought as not my own, but instead was the prompting of God speaking through the Holy Spirit asking me to do what I often pray and promise that I want to do. That is, to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ in this world. So, I stood there debating whether and how to go about doing it. The whether I should do it should have never been a matter of debate, but I let it. Again, it wasn’t about the money. I’m blessed to currently to be in a place to help others at times. The issue I debated in my head was more logistical. I worried that my offer to do so would embarrass the woman. Perhaps, she didn’t want the rest of the people around to also know that she couldn’t afford everything she wanted. I was also worried that she might be offended and it would hurt her dignity.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I stood there so long debating all the things above until eventually the opportunity had passed without me taking action and offering to pay for the items like I knew I should have done. The woman finished her transaction and left the store. I felt so bad that after paying for my items and loading them in the car I drove around the parking lot a couple times to see if by chance the lady may have still been there so I could offer her some cash money to buy herself some treats. Some nice frivolous treats that we all deserve to have occasionally. Unfortunately, I didn’t find her.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I spent part of my drive home in tears over those two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. Crying over what they represented in that moment in time. One, they represented my failure to act on what I knew without a doubt I was being led to do in that moment by the God I claim to serve and follow. I know there will be forgiveness. God in fact will forgive me before I forgive myself. Yet, there is something larger than cookies, cake rolls, and a sweet treat involved. That lady will certainly not die for lack of those items. But, God offers something greater to us all than just nice frivolous treats such as those. God offers us his love, grace, and mercy. And God offers us forgiveness and eternal life through Jesus Christ who came to die in our place. It is in the moments that I don’t take the opportunity or follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to move and act in sharing and offering that good news to others that I am really failing to be what God has called me to be. It is in those moments where the risk of embarrassment or loss of dignity is to me and not the other person. Hopefully, I won’t debate that risk in my head and I will act without regard to either.
Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. Sometimes that’s all it is. But sometimes it is so much more than that.
Ordinary, Simple, and Unworthy
You’ve probably all seen them and even had occasion to use one. Those plastic bags with a drawstring they have at hospitals to place your belongings in. They are used to hold clothes, shoes, and other personal items. Though made of plastic and may seem a little flimsy at first glance, they are usually amazingly pliant and more resilient than they appear to be. They can bear more weight than what you may think.
Having worked in an Emergency Department for nearly 21 years, I have countless times assisted a patient or family member place their belongings in these types of bags. Most of the time this is while the patient is temporarily sporting one of our notable hospital gowns that everyone loves to wear. Other times, to help bag up random loose items they want to securely transport home with them.
Sadly, I have often had several occasions where I have had to place the clothes and belongings of a patient who has died in such a bag as this to give to the grieving family. It is those times when I look at the bag and think it is not good enough for such a task. It seems even flimsier at those times. Yet, not just that. It just seems too ordinary, simple, and unworthy to be performing such a task as this. These items are no longer just someone’s belongings. They are now precious treasures and a last link to a lost loved one for a grieving family. I often wish I had something more than a plastic bag with a drawstring to place those items in and offer to the family.
I have also on these occasions been asked to pray with the family at the bedside during these times of loss and grieving. It is at these times I often view myself in the same manner as I view the bag. I feel too ordinary, simple, and unworthy to perform such a task as that. I feel that way because it is true. But while I am praying out loud with the family, I am also simultaneously praying quietly in my head asking the Holy Spirit to work through me and to help me be more resilient, stronger, and capable than I have it on my own to be. I am flimsy. I am weak. But with Christ working through me I can access a strength and power that helps me be more pliant, resilient, and hopefully more comforting and effective than ever feel that I am in the moment.
Unexpected Gifts
Several years ago during the time leading up to Christmas, I started something that has become an on and off habit. On and off, because admittedly sometimes I am so caught up in myself and thoughts that I forget to do it. It started out while standing in a checkout line in a store. The customers in line in front of me consisted of a mother and a young child. Suddenly, a voice in my head said, “Give that child a dollar bill and tell them to take it home and put it in their Piggy Bank.” I have learned over the years that that voice is the voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to do something I would normally not think up on my own. So, I listened. The child and the mother were both shocked but very thankful for this random act of kindness.
So, I have continued to do this over the years. When out eating in a restaurant or standing in line, if I see a young child I give them a dollar and tell them one of my goals in life is to help kids Feed the Piggy. I have received a variety of responses to this over the years, but always positive. Some children are of course shy and they nestle into the arms of a parent, tentatively reach for the dollar, and maybe mumble a small thank you when prompted. Others get this big smile on their face, reach for it, and say thank you without being prompted. Still others smile, get excited, and tell me about a toy or game they have been saving up for and how this will help them reach their goal. The best, however, is that rare occasion when the child after one of these reactions turns to their parent and asks if they can give me a hug. A million dollar hug in exchange for a dollar is not a bad investment at all.
On Valentine’s Day of this year I found myself standing in line at the coffee shop of a local bookstore. While waiting for my order to be prepared I was standing near a table where a very young couple and a very young baby were sitting. I of course smiled and waved at the baby who gave me a small smile back. This led to me striking up the usual conversation with the parents – “How old is he? What’s his name? And I love his little Valentine’s Day bib and outfit.” The mother replied, “5 months. Jonah. And yes, he is Mommy’s little Valentine,” with obvious pride and love in her voice. After I got my coffee I walked over to the table with a dollar in my hand. I asked Jonah if he had a piggy bank yet. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t answer. But his mom said, “No, not yet. I wish.” I handed her the dollar, and still talking to Jonah I said, “Well, when you get one, here’s your first dollar to put in it.”
Obviously, Jonah didn’t respond. But the mother’s reaction melted my heart. She was so grateful and thankful. She told me that was such a sweet thing to do and that when she got home she was going to write the date on the dollar and write down how and when he got it. I wished them all well and went on my way.
While I’ll never know if that’s what she actually does with the dollar, a part of me kind of hope she does. Not for my sake. She doesn’t even know my name and will probably soon forget what I look like. But for Jonah’s sake I like to think that years down the road he’ll still have a dollar with a date written on it and a story behind it about the kindness of a stranger. I like to think that dollar will follow him through life and that on those days when life seems hard, harsh, and unkind that he will use to remind himself that not everyone is like that. And I like to think that it will inspire him to be the kind of person to share similar acts of kindness to the people he encounters in his life.
As stated, this all occurred on Valentine’s Day. According to a quick Internet search, I discovered that the people in the United States were expected to spend a total of $26 billion dollars this year for the holiday. I’m sure many of those gifts were bought and given with sincere love for the other person and received with sincere gratitude by the person getting the gift. Yet, we all must admit the commercialization of this holiday (and others) has also created a culture in where people feel the pressure of being obligated to spend big money on someone to express their love, as well as creating within others to feel a sense of entitlement to receive a wonderful and expensive gift.
Yet, my experience with my “Feed the Piggy” efforts over the years I have learned that the best gifts and the most appreciated gifts are those that come unexpectedly out of the blue and for no seemingly purpose whatsoever. That is true for the child (or parent on behalf of the child) receiving a simple dollar. But, I would dare say it has been even more true for me as I get the gift of simply giving someone a moment of unexpected joy and surprise.
I am writing this on the second day of the Lenten Season. So, to sum up, I would encourage you all to take time during this period of reflection leading up to Easter to think about the unexpected and unmerited gifts of Love, Mercy, and Grace offered to us by God. If you have taken advantage of them in your personal life, then take this time to be thankful. If you have not, here’s a message for you that they are available for the taking.
Cleansed and Made New
As you can see in this picture, there are two communion cups. The one on the left is used, stained, dusty, and dirty. The one on the right is new, clean, and clear. I have had the one on the left on my mantle above the fireplace since Christmas Eve of 2019. Now, I am not normally in the habit of keeping the cups when I receive communion, but this time was different as I will explain.
Since 2019 was one of the years my home church was not having a Christmas Eve Service, I looked around for another local United Methodist Church which I could attend that evening. I chose one nearby for the main reason that the Pastor of this church was someone I had known all my life, considered a friend, and whom I had (and still have) a great deal of respect for. At the end of the service as he prepared to serve the Sacrament of Holy Communion he told us that upon receiving the sacrament to hold onto our cup, take it home, and keep it. To be fair, I’m certain he never intended us to keep it as long as I have kept mine. But, I’m glad I have.
After all these years, I don’t remember the exact words he used that night. Essentially, though, he asked us to keep it for awhile as a reminder. Each time we looked at it and saw the stain of the grape juice we would be reminded of our Christ the Savior who can cleanse the stain of sin within us and make us whole and pure again. So, I did. And it was a great reminder. I had all intentions of eventually throwing it in the trash. But it would blend into the background for a bit basically become invisible. Then I would notice it again, be reminded of its significance, and think I’ll keep it a little longer. Weeks became months and there it remained, cycling through moments of blending in and inspiring my faith.
When I walked in that church that Christmas Eve as a visitor one of the first people to greet me was the wife of this Pastor. She too was someone I had known all my life, considered a friend, and had a great deal of respect for. She was a true joy to be around and had a beautiful and welcoming smile. Circumstances didn’t allow me to see either of these two people very often, but any time I saw either one of them I felt loved. About six months after this service she passed away. The next time that stained communion cup caught my eye I was reminded that Christmas Eve service was the last time I had seen her. After that, I could never bring myself to throw it away because it then played a role as another reminder to me in my life. It reminded me of a wonderful and beautiful soul that I had been privileged to know.
I realize that was a lot of back story to get to the actual point of this post. But, for me at least, it is an important part of the story I wanted to share. I realize that this stained and dirty communion cup is not going to invoke the same deep feelings in any one of you. What I do hope is that the juxtaposition of it in regards to a new clean cup beside the cross can inspire you as we head into a new year.
The end of the year always inspires reflection. We look back to where we’ve been, what we’ve done, and who we were. We also begin to look forward to where we want to go, what we want to do, and who we want to be. If we are honest with ourselves we all have regrets. And many of us feel stained, dirty, dusty, and maybe even used. Just like the cup on the left. The good news is that if we bring ourselves to the cross of Jesus we can be transformed to be like the cup on the right. We can be cleansed and made new. A simple prayer is all it takes.
The better news is that this does not just have to happen at the end of a calendar year. It can happen any day. It can happen every day if it needs to. We live in a messy and broken world. And even on our best days when we give our whole heart and soul into being a faithful Christian, we can find ourselves feeling like a mess and feeling broken. God does not want us feeling that way. God is constantly at work within us making us like the cup on the right. Go into the new year knowing that every day God is willing to be at work in your life picking you up, dusting you off, and making you clean – if you will let him. And share that Good News with others.
Let There Be – A Poem
Let There Be by Melissa Peeler The Word Spoke. Let There Be. . . and There Was. and There Is. and There Ever Will Be. The Word Dwelt. Creator joined Creation. Intimately and Incarnately. The Word still Speaks and Dwells. Let There Be Hope. Let There Be Love. Let There Be Joy. Let There Be Peace. There Was. Is. Ever Will Be. Melissa Peeler Composed: November 30, 2022 To Like or Comment, please click on title and open in a new tab.
Fear Not! – A Christmas Message
I have watched A Charlie Brown Christmas countless times over the years. It is one of the shows I always try to get in during the season. Yet, it wasn’t until a couple years ago that I read an article that pointed out something I had missed over the years. It’s a very subtle action that takes place in the show. But within that subtle action lies a very impactful and meaningful lesson for us all.
Near the end, Charlie Brown in exasperation exclaims, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?”
Linus responds, “Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.” He then takes center stage, calls for the lights to be dimmed, and recites Luke 2:8-14, the passage about the angels appearing to the shepherds. I’m sure you all have seen this numerous times as well.
What I never noticed on my own was that at the exact moment Linus recites the words of the angel, “Fear Not” he drops his blanket on the ground. Yes, that blanket. The security blanket that Linus carried with him everywhere and never willingly parted with.
Now, most of us, especially as adults, don’t walk around carrying a security blanket with us everywhere we go. At least not visibly. Because if we are honest with ourselves, we do indeed carry invisible blankets with us all the time. We have our own worries, fears, and problems that plague us. And we also all have our own habits, thought patterns, and ways of dealing with those things. It is the old patterns and actions that become our security blankets. As do sometimes the worries, fears, and thoughts we carry. Sometimes, even unconsciously, we hold on to the same worries and doubts on purpose simply because the work of moving forward and through them can sometimes seem scary and hard. Because it is often scary and hard.
What we all need to hear and know is that the message for the shepherds is the same message for us still today. Fear Not. There is Good News. News to bring joy for all the people. A Savior has been born. “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
As we continue through the time of Advent and through the season of Christmastide, I invite you to look within yourself. Consider the security blanket(s) you are carrying around with you daily. And hear the words of the angel to “Fear Not” and be like Linus and drop your blanket to the ground.
As I read other articles about this, many also point out that Linus picks the blanket back up and carries it off the stage with him. And, like Linus, we too will probably sometimes bend back down and pick up the blanket we have dropped. But at the end he gives us another lesson. He and the gang follow Charlie Brown home, whereupon he wraps the blanket around the base of the tree and all the others begin to decorate it. We all will probably go through many cycles of dropping and picking back up our own personal security blanket. Sometimes dropping old ones to pick up new ones. The Good News is that we too have a tree that we can approach and lay them at the base of as well. It is the tree that became the Cross of Christ where he died to save us all. Lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus. Leave them there. And move forward Fearing Not!
Waiting with Hope and Walking in Light (1st Sunday in Advent)
Following is a link to the copy of the Sunday morning message I delivered November 27, 2022 in my role as a Lay Speaker.
Waiting with Hope and Walking in Light (1st Sunday of Advent)
Not Putting Limitations on God
Many families follow the same tradition of fixing a nice turkey for Thanksgiving. And our family was no different – I remember many wonderful turkey dinners with my family. However, there is one Thanksgiving that I know my mother did not enjoy at all. Regrettably, that is my fault entirely.
For the first couple years of my life instead of fixing a whole turkey Mom always just fixed a turkey breast. With two small children that was all we needed anyway, not to mention that is the best part of the turkey. This worked out well until I turned five years old, started kindergarten, and became a woman (well actually girl) of the world. That year we sat down for dinner and Mom brings the turkey breast and all the other food to the table.
And what do I do but immediately start crying. “I thought you said we were going to have turkey,” I yelled between the wailing. Of course Mom tried to explain that it was a turkey, just part of it. But you see I had seen a picture of what a real turkey looked like at school and this wasn’t it. “But it doesn’t have any legs,” I responded, still crying. Of course Mom tried to explain that it was still the same thing. However, if you have ever tried reasoning with a five-year-old then you know that her situation was pretty hopeless. Her Thanksgiving was pretty much ruined that year because I had hurt her feelings. (Mom, I’m really sorry.)
So how does this tie into our walk as Christians? It’s pretty simple. I sat down that year with a pre-conceived idea of what a turkey looked like. (Okay, I know as a five-year-old I didn’t know what pre-conceived meant, but that’s what it was.) Anyway, when that meal did not fit the picture I had in my mind then I automatically assumed it was wrong. As Christians we do this almost on a daily basis.
God knows us inside out and knows what is best for us. He also has a plan for our life which if followed will allow us to be truly happy and at peace. The problem is we sometimes jump ahead before finding out what he wants us to do. When faced with a situation or problem we get our own pre-conceived ideas of how we think it should be handled. And when God’s way doesn’t go along with our thinking then we get upset. We think he isn’t listening to our prayers or he’s ignoring us. That is so far from the truth.
All he is doing is waiting for us to really come to him with an open heart and an open mind to hear what he has to say about the matter. But often we are afraid to do that, because he may ask us to do something we don’t want to do. For example, say you have a co-worker who is difficult to get along with and perhaps has wronged you in some way. You may be sitting there waiting for Divine Providence to come down and help you get revenge. However, God may be sitting there waiting for you to forgive this person. You don’t want to forgive, you want to see revenge. Until you step back and say, “Thy will be done” and do what he asks then the situation may never be resolved.
“They will be done.” We say that at least once a week during the Lord’s Prayer on Sunday. But how often do we really pray it and mean it? It’s really a hard prayer to pray sometimes. We know it can put us in an awkward and perhaps unpleasant situation. But on the other hand it can also free us to be what God really wants us to be.
So we need to learn to put aside our pre-conceived ideas of how we think God should act in our lives and just let him act. The results can change our lives forever.
Written in November 1998 for my Church’s Newsletter.
Just For A Day – A Poem
Just For A Day by Melissa Peeler Just for a day I want to step outside of myself - To see me as others do. Just for a day I want to walk where others have tread - To see where else I could go. Just for a day I want to cease being who I am - To see who else I could be. Just for a day I want to silence my inner thoughts - To watch all the demons flee. Yet there is no such day approaching. My wishes shall remain unfilled. I must remain just as I am. And, On this foundation tear and rebuild. Melissa Peeler Composed: 2003 To Like or Comment, please click on title and open in a new tab.
THE SECRET CHORD by Geraldine Brooks
The biblical King David of Israel was referred to as a “man after God’s own heart.” In The Secret Chord, Brooks gives us a fictional story that fleshes out the biblical accounts known about David and provides a glimpse of a possible narrative showing how such a man might have lived out that experience. Brooks does here what she does best in her novels. She takes a historical fact or a small known entity and builds a narrative framework that seems so plausible and real that, at least in my case, makes the reader want it to be true. That may seem odd to say, because she does not shy away from the bad and ugly while also writing about the good. Yet, since we all know that life is not all roses, puppies, and kittens, something can’t seem plausible and real unless the unsavory moments and actions are also included and addressed as well. We are shown a man who does indeed desire to serve his God faithfully and to lead God’s people in his role as king. But, we also see a man. A man with typical human desires and wants that sometimes cause him to stumble and make the wrong choices and take the wrong paths.
We see this story primarily through the eyes of Nathan the prophet, through whom God speaks to David. Nathan is one of the king’s closest and most trusted advisors. As Nathan shares his account with us, the reader, he also gives voice to the women in David’s life and how their lives were impacted and shaped by their relationships with him. This includes his mother, his many wives, and even his daughter Tamar who was raped by her half-brother. Each of these relationships also highlight the complexity of the human condition. In giving space for these women to speak for themselves, Brooks really shines in what I mentioned earlier in providing a plausible story that can easily be seen as possessing the possibility to be true.
One must keep in mind that this is not your grandmother’s Bible study book about the life of King David. However, it was fascinating to read about biblical accounts of the exploits of David from an enhanced perspective. And although challenging, I found her choice to use the Hebrew names for people and places quite interesting and enlightening. It added to the aspect of reading about old stories with fresh eyes and a different view.
I do have one caution to provide to any potential reader. Brooks has decided to include in this narrative an idea that has been proposed and discussed elsewhere by biblical scholars and other authors. That is, the portrayal of David and Jonathan’s relationship as being more than just a friendship and as one that included a sexual component between the two of them as well. If that is an idea and portrayal that is super offensive in that you can’t just ignore and dismiss it and instead will let it over-shadow and dis-color the rest of the narrative, then I suggest you avoid reading the book. It is not a major plot line of the story, but it is included and referenced to several times and runs as a tributary that does feed into the river that is the main story.
Brooks is a master weaver in the art of telling a story. While told in a somewhat linear fashion, she also deftly includes backstory and flashbacks at just the right time. Her poetic prose brings to life the people, places, and settings in such vivid detail. She does not disappoint here in The Secret Chord and has once again helped solidify her spot as one of my top five favorite writers of all time.
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Echoes of Childhood – A Poem
Echoes of Childhood by Melissa Peeler Childhood echoes unceasingly within the caverns of Adulthood. Words: Spoken by us. Spoken to us. Actions: Taken by us. Done to us. Thoughts: Bidden by us. Thrust upon us. All continually reverberate through our Being. Repeatedly rebounding among the multitude of life experiences and memories. Stalagmitic experiences rising from below. Stalactitic memories descending from above. Often uniting and clinging together as one singular formation. Echoes refusing to be silenced. Vibrating, Vibrating, Vibrating. . . . Rumbling, Rumbling, Rumbling. . . . Resonating, Resonating, Resonating. . . . Melissa Peeler Composed: September 2022 To Like or Comment, please click on title and open in a new tab.
God’s Steadfast Love
Following is an entry from my Faith Journal from October 14, 2011. Turns out my current daily Bible readings are in line with where I was at that time. I am once again struck by the times the phrase “steadfast love” appears. Eleven years later, I still need to take time to reflect on the nature of God’s love for God’s people. And, even more importantly right now, God’s love for me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I sometimes feel completely unlovable. Yet, I sometimes can feel undeserving of God’s love because of certain actions or thoughts that are pervasive in my life at the moment. I constantly have to remind myself, or being reminded, that it is not about me deserving or earning God’s love. I don’t deserve it. I can’t earn it. It is a gift from a holy God who chose from the beginning and continues to choose everyday to love me. Not for what I’ve done. Not for what I can do for him. Simply because I am one of God’s creation. May you be reminded today that God loves you. Whether you want him to or not. Though I truly hope you want him to.
My current daily readings over the last several days has included multiple Psalms for each day. The subject of God’s “steadfast love” has been a recurring presence in many of them. Steadfast: Fixed, Immovable, Not Varying. It implies one who is resolute and sure of their current direction and doesn’t waver from their set path or plans. God may be saddened and grieve for us over things we do that go against his commands because he knows the potential harm we are exposing ourselves to. He may even be angry at us at times for being so obstinate and selfish and refusing to treat and/or help others in their troubles. But, despite this sadness, grieving, or anger his love remains resolute and sure. It holds fast. It stays fixed. It doesn’t move. Most humans have a breaking point where love for another, even family, can be lost – perhaps to be repaired at a later date, but perhaps not. God never loses his love for us. With God, rejection and separation can only occur from one side of the equation, that is, from us.
A VBS Lesson
I am writing this on a Sunday morning. Yesterday, we had the first day of a 2-day weekend Vacation Bible School at my church. I’ll be honest, I was very discouraged and downcast the week prior to and even up to the point at 12:00 when we officially began. Despite sending personal invitations in the mail to prior attendees, putting up flyers in the area, inviting people via our Facebook page, and several other ways of getting out the message I had only heard back of maybe 3 to 5 children possibly showing up. And when we did start, we only had 4 children in attendance. I had several encouraging voices around me of other adults reminding me that that numbers aren’t important, that it is always worth it even if you impact the life of one child. I was doing my best to hold on to that advice; yet, it was hard. I was also doing my best to not let my disappointment and discouragement show to the children who were there. I was being as upbeat and positive as I could on the outside, even while not feeling it on the inside.
By the time I got home last night, I was in a much better frame of mind and mood. Though the crowd was small, we had a wonderful afternoon. It was great watching the kids (and joining in with them) have a day filled with laughter, fun, tasty meals, fellowship with each other and, yes, some moments of learning about how God loves us and wants us to share that love with others.
Additionally, as God tends to do, he showed up in an unexpected way and taught Me a lesson in the midst of me teaching the children. We were discussing Matthew 3:13-17 which is the account of Jesus being baptized by John in the Jordan River. We were talking about what happened after Jesus was baptized, about how heaven was opened, a dove descended, and voice from heaven declared, “This is my Son whom I dearly love; I find happiness in him.”
It was at that point that one of the children, a very soon-to-be 6 year old, asked a question. He wanted to know if the people that were there watching this baptism heard this voice with their ears or did they just hear God speak to them in their hearts? I want you to read that question again. It is a very profound question for someone of such an age. I started looking around the room for the Pastor because I was going to pass that question off to him. Unfortunately for me, it was one of the rare times he had chosen to step out of the room. So I gave my best answer. First, I told the child that was a great question to even ask in the first place. Second, I told him that the Bible doesn’t say for sure but that for me personally when I read that passage I have always taken it to mean they heard an actual voice with their ears. Later, when the pastor came back in the room we went to him for his answer to the question. His answer was basically the same – we can’t know for an absolute certainty. It could have been either way. He also was impressed at the depth of this child’s question and told him so. Ultimately, the point is that the people there heard and received the message from God, whether or not it was received audibly or through their hearts being attuned to God.
While the question itself was important, in this situation for me the actual answer to the question is not the main lesson here. The lessons to be found are within the asking of the question by this six-year-old. Following, are my take-aways from this situation.
First, the fact he asked the question showed he was not only listening to the story, but he was in fact engaged in active listening. He wasn’t just hearing what was happening. He was actively placing himself in the story. He was trying to imaging himself there with the people and wondering how they felt at the time and how they experienced the event. That is the approach we all should take when we are studying events of the Bible. Putting ourselves within the story helps us open ourselves up to what is being taught and prepares us to learn what God is trying to tell us and teach us.
Second, I was impressed and heartened to know that this young child at this young age has already grasped the concept that God can indeed speak to our hearts individually. He is already aware that God does reach out to us and does talk to us, whether we hear with our ears or not. It is vitally important for us to know that God can lead, guide, and direct us by speaking directly to our hearts. Hearing that still, small voice within us is important to both our personal spiritual development as well as how we are led to interact and engage with others.
Third, by asking the question that he asked, he showed that in his mind there are no limits to what God can do. Just because this six-year-old has never heard God speak out loud to to the point he can hear him with his ears, he has not ruled out the possibility that God has the ability to, in fact, do just that very thing. How many times as adults do we, either consciously or unconsciously, put such limitations on how God can act or move within our lives? I know I am guilty of this! Just because we have yet to see God move or act in some specific manner previously in our lives does not limit God’s capabilities to do so.
Yes, as adults there are some childish ways we have to put aside to become mature. However, we are also called to have a childlike faith in regards to the kingdom of God. See Matthew 18:1-4. Today I encourage you to be an active listener when being taught or reading lessons in the Bible, know and trust that God can and will speak directly to your hearts, and don’t put limitations on how God can and move within your life just because you haven’t seen it done that way before.
Lonely Lines In Search of a Home
Below are some random lines and thoughts that have been collecting dust in my writing journal. They all have been waiting patiently to be turned into either a poem or essay, but their time has not yet come. Maybe it never will. So, for now, I thought I would let them hang out together here in the hopes they would feel a little less lonely.
- Depression is a black hole of the soul. It sucks all joy, love, laughter into its nothingness.
- Watching the trees in the Fall is like watching a fire-works show in slow motion.
- A Merry-Go-Round Mind.
- Sparks of Inspiration flitter in my mind like lightning bugs skittering through the night, elusive and just out of reach.
- We ponder Death in an attempt to perceive Life. For Life is nothing less than a march to the grave.
- Even Insecurity contains a dose of Vanity. Believing others are ceding moments of their precious time to criticize you has an air of pretension.
- An empty bottle of alcohol is never truly empty. Instead, it is filled with all the things it has taken away. Memories. Friendships. It is replaced with the distilled spirits of friends and family. It is full of wasted memories half-forgotten.
- Just because things are the way they are doesn’t always mean things are the way they are supposed to be.
- Your Absence is a Presence that trails my every move, an invisible shadow at my heels.
- Past and Present collide, like long dead stars that illumine the Night.
- It doesn’t require the weight of the world to crush someone. It only requires the weight of their world.
- An evening breeze dances on the leaves of the trees, whispering secrets of the night.
- I do not fear the noise. I do not fear the silence. I do fear the noise that hides unheard within the silence.
- Fear of disappearing like a pen slowly draining of ink that grows lighter and lighter until the words just fade out of existence all together.
I’m Still Here!
I thought I needed to drop in and let anyone who is interested know that I am still here and have not abandoned this blog. I know my posts over the past few months have decreased in frequency. It is definitely not for lack of interest or for lack of things I want to say. I also still have many older writings and poems I want to share and I do want to keep my reading lists (both the ones I’ve read and want to read) up to date, including more book reviews. So please don’t give up on me yet. Keep checking in on here periodically. I promise I’m going to do my best here.
Back in May I announced to family, friends, and my local church that I am considering a call into full-time ministry as a Licensed Local Pastor in the United Methodist Church. This includes a time and process of discernment that I have to proceed through. This has been taking up quite a bit of time and mental/emotional/spiritual energy and has kept me from devoting the time I would love to spend on this.
With that said, I would like to repeat something I know I’ve shared in other places here. I do not claim to be the most read individual or the smartest individual. You can find better writing and more sophisticated thoughts in many other places. My goal for this has always been to just be a part of a conversation at large. Though not the smartest, I feel I do (at least occasionally) have something worthwhile to add. So, I wanted a way to share that with others who may be interested in my perspective on things. Additionally, as I am only one individual I do not claim that any of my thoughts on spiritual and faith matters should be taken as a full representation of the United Methodist Church. My views, while certainly influenced by my membership of and love of this denomination, are my own. I am an imperfect person trying to work out my own calling from God and my own spiritual journey as best as I can. I always encourage (respectful) push back and commentary on anything I post. I am not unwilling to examine and consider viewpoints that are different from my own. Our life experiences shape and mold who we are, how we engage the world, and even how we encounter God. I hope I never get to a point where I am unwilling to admit I may be wrong about something. But, I do promise that the things I write come from the heart and out of a true desire to understand God’s love and to share it with others.
One area I would love to get back to is adding more Book Reviews. I hope that I will soon be able to carve out some time for this. Until then, however, I have at least come up with a Rating System I am somewhat satisfied with. I say satisfied because I have a lot of trouble rating and reviewing books. (I’m sure I’ve said this before elsewhere as well!} I respect anyone who puts time and energy into writing, because I know and understand how difficult it can be. Thus, I have a hard time being too critical about a book at times – mostly out of sympathy for the author. But, below I have included my current rating system. I hope maybe it will help if you visit here in the hopes of getting some reading suggestions. Again, applying to my lists is a work in progress, so please be patient. Though I hope it will go quicker than writing actual reviews. And as always, I welcome any questions about any particular book and I’ll respond as quickly as possible.
★★★★★ Awesome! Tops on Re-Read List. Want with me if ever stranded on a desert island.
★★★★☆ Great! Would Re-Read if have time.
★★★☆☆ Good. Would Re-Read if nothing else available.
★★☆☆☆ Okay.
★☆☆☆☆ Not Good. Struggled to Finish.
(No Rating) Usually means is a sort of niche book assigned or read for a particular personal reason.
Thanks for visiting. I hope that something here on this blog will be helpful to you on either your reading journey, spiritual journey, or just life in general. Thanks!
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Children’s Time Message for Trinity Sunday
For my Children’s Time on June 12, 2022, which was Trinity Sunday, I used the following illustration and message with the kids. Sunday’s Scripture was John 16:12-15.
I showed them the bottle of the 3-In-One Oil and showed how it is made and marketed for the three uses of Lubricating (Oiling), Attacking Rust Buildup, and Removing & Protecting from Dirt. I then put some of the oil into the cup and showed it to the kids. I asked them if by looking in the cup, could they identify which part of the oil did which of the three aspects of how it is designed to work. Of course, they said they could not because they are all mixed together. I told them they were correct. The oil was designed to work all at the same time but was able to do whichever of the three uses was needed at a particular time and on a particular part of the piece of item it was being used on.
I then talked about how we refer to God as God the Father (Creator), God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Then, I asked them if that meant we worship three Gods or just one. They again, correctly, answered that we only worship one God. So, we talked about how in talking about God in three ways we are just talking about the different ways that God works to relate to us and for us to relate back to God. Sometimes our focus is on how God created (and is still) creating all things. Sometimes our focus is on how Jesus came to save us from our sins. Finally, sometimes our focus is on listening to the Spirit for guidance on how to act and what to do. But, either way our focus is still on the one God who loves us more than we can comprehend. And just like the oil, we can not separate and see any of those aspects entirely on their own. Because they also always work together and it is God who decides which holy part needs to do the most work on us at a particular time in our life.
(Stay tuned and be on the lookout for my message to the Adults. I’ll share it soon!)
National Poetry Month (Post #3)
Post #3 for National Poetry Month. I would be remiss if I did not highlight Emily Dickinson. There are several of hers I like, but one of my favorites is “Because I Could Not Stop for Death”.
Fun Fact regarding her poems. In one of my exams in a college Literature classes we were given a set of poems and we had to identify the poet who wrote it. The trick to identifying a Dickinson poem was that most of hers can be sung to the tune of “Amazing Grace.” Likewise, her poems and “Amazing Grace” can also be sung to the tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” and the theme song of “Gilligan’s Island.” Hope I have successfully planted an ear worm in each of your brains for the day. You’re Welcome.
National Poetry Month (Post #2)
In honor of National Poetry month, here is my second post high-lighting poets or poems that I have enjoyed over the years. For my take in why poetry matters see my previous post from last week.
This is a poem I have encountered and studied many times throughout the years with both my personal reading and my literature studies in college. It ranks up there with my favorite top ten. Mostly, because for such a short poem it tells a big story. Rich’s masterful use of imagery and metaphor are a talent I aim for (but struggle with and fall short with) in my own poetry. Simple understated phrases reveal so much. The lines “The massive weight of Uncle’s wedding band / Sit heavily upon Aunt Jennifer’s hand,” combined with “ringed with ordeals she was mastered by” tell us so much about the harsh life she endured within the confines of marriage without having to explicitly explain it. Especially when combined with the fact that the tigers she is creating “do not fear the men beneath the tree.” The poem is ultimately a poem bemoaning a period of time when women did not have the freedom, voice, and self-agency that we do today (especially in this country). So, why and how does a poem like that speak to me as a never married woman who though very supportive of women’s rights certainly doesn’t consider herself a raving feminist. (We can have the discussion about raving feminists another day if that raises questions for anyone.) Although on the surface this poem speaks of one person and one issue, I believe the underlying message and framework can be applied to many situations and issues. Most of us at some point, whether for a lifetime or just a period of time, have felt constrained, held back, forced to be silent, or stuck because what we want or desire for ourselves runs contradictory to the ideas of our family or society as a whole. It may not be a wedding band that sits heavy on our hand. But we can feel the weight of other’s opinions and judgments just the same. And we, like Aunt Jennifer, find ourselves sitting in envy of the tigers who “Will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.”
In the Church Pews – A Poem
In the Church Pews by Melissa Peeler Eager Faces. Bored Faces. Exhausted Faces. Angry Faces. Distracted Faces. Longing Faces. Some Seeking to Praise. Some Wanting to be Praised. Behind Each Face a Universe of Stories. Stories of Loss. Stories of Pain. Stories of Wrongs. Stories of Love. Stories of Joy. Stories of Success. Behind Each Face a Soul Yearning. To Weave the Stories into Meaning. Around, Within, Among, Hovers the Holy Spirit, Bearing Holy Instruments and Prepared to Knit An Eternally Embracing Blanket of Love With threads of Mercy and Grace from Above. Initially Written March 31, 2019 / Revised March 26, 2022
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Family Roots
The words below were written by my sister, Robin Peeler, back on March 20, 2017. She re-shared the post today on her Facebook page. I asked her if I could share it here and she readily agreed. She told me I could add to it if I wanted, but it pretty much says it all. The only thing I will add here is to say this – none of us take for granted the good fortune we had to be born into such a loving family. We all know that not everyone has the same experience. I’m heartened to say that we as a family do not keep that experience only to ourselves. While we were learning to be loved and to love each other, we were also learning to love others. Not a single one of us would ever claim that the Peelers are perfect. Trust me, each of us could tell you some stories. And we do, when we gather for our annual family campout at the Old Home Place. But, we have each worked hard to make where-ever we call home and whoever we call neighbors a little better than how we found it or them.
Robin Peeler
In this picture we only see two generations of Peeler blood walking the hallowed grounds of the Old Home place. But if I close my eyes and think back over all the years, just in my short life, I can picture at least five generations in my lifetime. Many have gone home, some are just coming into the world, and some of us still go for the beauty, serenity and the overwhelming feeling of safety, love and peace that surround you as soon as you step foot on the ground. We all grew up there, ate more Sunday dinners and jars of pickles than you can count. There we were loved and cherished by everyone and we knew it, because we felt it. There may not have been much there in the way of material things, but family, that was always there no matter what.
We learned how to skip rocks, jump off the rope swing at the right time to hit the deep hole and not the sharp rock in the creek, learned how to use a handmade slingshot to shoot rocks at each other, protected each other from the gulley monster, spent many a cold night with 4 or 5 cousins jammed in one bed in the back room underneath a pile of quilts that seemed to reach the ceiling to keep us warm. And it never failed, just as we had all gotten toasty warm somebody had to get up and go to the out house and we had to start all over again.
We woke up to bacon, and sausage and eggs, and shotgun biscuits made by the loving hands of MawMaw Peeler. I swear that woman had to get up at 3 am every day to accomplish what she did. She never let you leave without a full belly, a kiss on the cheek, a tight squeeze, and for me “I love you Shorty”. Oh how I loved her too.
So many memories at this place that time will never erase, because I know of 3 itty-bitty ones with Peeler blood in them that will come to love this place and its stories as much as we all do. I wish I had time to talk about all the memories, but it’s a lifetime’s worth so for now I’ll say good night Peeler clan. Loving you all from Virginia where ever you lay your head tonight. I’m thankful for each and every one you, past, present and future. Peeler out.
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God Will Cover the Nakedness of Our Shame
Once Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit they immediately become aware of their nakedness and are ashamed. They quickly fashion coverings of fig leaves to cover themselves. They hear the Lord walking in the garden and they hide from him. After he calls them out, forces them to explain their actions, and metes out their punishment he makes some more substantial garments for them out of animal skins.
This same dynamic plays itself out today in our relationship to the Creator. When we become aware and acknowledge that we have sinned, we feel ashamed. In a sense, we feel naked as well, our soul is laid bare before the Lord – and sometimes to those around us as well, depending on how and to whom we have hurt when we have sinned. We, too, are often tempted to do a hasty cover-up to assuage our guilt and shame. But, nothing is hidden from God and he will seek us out in our own garden through the conviction of the Holy Spirit and force us to explain ourselves.
In the overall sense of things, unlike Adam and Eve, we don’t have to have our punishment meted out to us, because Jesus has paid the penalty for us. That does not mean, however, we are completely prevented from facing any consequences of our actions. But the good news is, just as he covered their nakedness, he will wrap his garments of mercy and forgiveness around us. We can then put away the feeling of shame and walk with him again unhindered.
HOW THE BIBLE ACTUALLY WORKS* by Peter Enns
As Christians, we have to be aware to not fall into the trap of finding ourselves reading more books about the Bible than we find ourselves actually reading the Bible itself. Don’t misunderstand me, there are many enlightening books that give us great insight to the understanding of the Bible. But, for true transformation and for real insight into what God wants for us and expects for us, we must be sure to spend time in the Holy Word.
With that said, this is one of the books about the Bible that is truly worth spending the time with. It gives such great insight into how to approach the Bible that it will definitely enhance anyone’s understanding of how to apply what we read to our daily lives.
The over-arching theme that Enns tries to get across is that the Bible is not a rule book that we can turn to page so-and-so when we need an answer to a particular problem. That idea may be disconcerting to some Christians, but hopefully you’ll come to understand that it is actually a good thing. If you have spent any significant time reading the Bible, you have come to realize that there are passages that seem to contradict each other. Advice or instruction given in one section can be found to to be the total opposite of advice or instruction given in another section. Enns goes on to say that this is not a flaw of the Scripture – it is instead designed that way. It is intended to guide us to a life of wisdom, not to just give out easy answers to our problems.
Enns goes on to posit that “reimagining God for one’s here and now is what Christians and Jews have been doing ever since there have been Christians and Jews” (Page 125.) There again, the idea of reimagining God may be a difficult concept for many. Many will say God is who God is. The idea of reimagining God seems to veer into the dangerous situation of saying man has created the image of God rather than God creating man in the image of God. That is far from what this biblical scholar is suggesting. In fact, as we read the Bible we see God referred to as a King, Shepherd, Fortress, etc. Those were images that were readily understood and accessible to the people of that time. Today, we just as easily refer to God as our co-pilot, or even better as our pilot. If we traveled back in time and tried to use that reference, the people would not understand the reference at all. God can remain holy and remain exactly who He is within the ever-changing ways we as people within our own cultures try to relate to Him.
Enns reminds us that “we are as distant from the time of King David (three thousand years ago, about 1000 BCE) as we are from the far distant future time of 5000 CE”. (Page 7). It is imperative that we approach the Bible trying to understand the context of when a particular book was written and to whom and what culture it was written to and for. In no way does this detract from the power of the Holy Scripture to speak to us today in our here and now. In fact, it is a testament to its power and wisdom that it is able to transcend time and place and still have relevance in our lives and the ability to connect us to God our Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer.
I highly encourage you to add this book to your reading list to discover how this ancient, ambiguous, and diverse book can lead you to Wisdom.
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Departure – A Poem
Departure by Melissa Peeler A cobalt moon shimmers between darkened leaves, while her watery twin echoes in kind beneath rippling waves left in your wake. Moons, Leaves, Ripples - all wave goodbye to your silhouette as it is absorbed by the night in the bend of the river. All wave but I. Instead, I turn aside and vanish within my own dark abyss. Written June 1, 2012
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Today – A Poem
Today by Melissa Peeler Today - I was. And, That was enough. Written in 2020
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Season of Lent, 2022
As we stand on the threshold of Lent, I must confess that I am looking forward to this particular season of the church calendar more than I was for the previous Advent Season we recently went through. That may seem odd to many. Both periods are times of preparation and reflection. But, Advent has a more positive and upbeat aura that surrounds it. I mean, really, how can you not be excited while expecting the birth of a child, especially the Christ Child. Even the words that represent it, Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love evoke warm and fuzzy thoughts and feelings.
At least they are suppose to evoke these feelings. Last year during that season, I was having a hard time grasping and holding on to each of those. I was weighed down by many things. Battling a new bout of depression. Emotionally and physically drained as someone who works in healthcare and all we’ve faced the past two years. A mid-life crisis that had me looking back on choices made in my past, assessing where I am in the present, and trying to determine what I wanted for in my future. It was not a joyous time of expectant waiting that I was going through. I am thankful that at least by Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was able to feel more in the true spirit of the holiday and worship and rejoice at what the birth of the Savior meant for the world and for me personally.
But, I’m here to talk about Lent. The words and the aura surrounding this season are less positive and upbeat. Confession. Repentance. It’s not the things that usually make one jump and down and find themselves eager to engage in. So, why am I excited about it? For one, it’s a time that fits my personality and my spiritual ethos. I am a very introspective and reflective person. I love thinking the deep thoughts. I love asking and trying to answer the hard questions. Lent calls us into such a time. Secondly, although all the issues I mentioned earlier haven’t all been magically resolved, I am in a better frame of mind and better position to deal with them. My hope is that these next forty days will bring about more clarity to the things I am struggling with. In fact, that brings up another word that applies to Lent. Renewal. That is what comes on the other side of confession and repentance. And that is what I am most looking forward to.
If you would like, I invite you to join me in using a devotional guide for Lent that for me seems perfectly timed for my life right now. (Using that word perfectly is kind of ironic as you will soon see.) This guide is called A Good Enough Lent. It is based on a devotional book called Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection written by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. While the book is available for purchase, the guide is available as a free download and can be used independent of the devotional book. The link for the free download can be found here: https://katebowler.com/lent.
WICKED by Gregory Maguire
So, this is definitely not the Land of Oz of my childhood. Well, it is, but from a markedly adult perspective. I have yet to see the musical that this book was based upon. Perhaps, that is why I have a little more positive reaction to the book than some of the reviews I read about it on the LibraryThing website. Seems like for the majority of people who encountered the musical first, they found the book to be a little too dark and little too twisted. Not sure what it says about me, but I liked the dark and twisted aspect of the novel.
In short, this novel gives us the back story of the life of the Wicked Witch of the West and attempts to explain why she is wicked. And, raises the question if she truly is wicked or just mis-understood.
The first section of the book, Munchkinlanders, centers largely around Elphaba’s parents, and their relationship to each other and their actions following the birth of their, not just unique, but absolutely freakish child. Born with green skin and sharp teeth she’s not afraid to use, Elphaba is not like anything they’ve seen before. Her father, Frexspar, is a minister and her mother, Melena, is the granddaughter of the Eminent Thropp, which is the highest ranking family in Munchkinland. Added to the mix is a Quadling named Turtle Heart who carries on an affair with Melena while Frexspar is off on his missionary journeys.
In the second section, titled Gillikin, we meet the future Glinda, initially named Galinda. She is on her way to begin her studies at Shiz University. This young Galinda is not the same sweet, lovable Glinda from my childhood books and memory either. We instead are introduced to a vain, self-centered, and slightly stuck-up individual. By the end of the book we do see a more mature, thoughtful, yet still not perfect personality emerge. The complicated friendship that develops between these two at university work to shape and mold each other into the later adults they both become. Though they don’t maintain constant close contact with each other, there is a bond between them that remains to the end.
There are three more sections titled City of Emeralds, In the Vinkus, and The Murder and Its Afterlife. This is where we meet and follow the exploits of an adult Elphaba. Her early life is consumed by an affair with a married man and former schoolmate, as well as her secretive involvement with others who want to bring about political and social change. The intersection of those two passions end with tragic results which upends her life and ultimately sends her on a quest to redeem and reckon with what she feels she has caused to happen. One would call this time a period of soul-searching, except she does not believe in the existence of a soul. It is also during this time that she reluctantly reconnects with her father and sister, both of whom she is at odds with on religious and social matters.
Maguire explores many spiritual issues throughout the narrative. What is the nature of Evil? What is the soul? Is there an afterlife beyond the physical realm? How best to ask for and bestow forgiveness? Additionally, he touches upon political and social commentary as well. What qualities make for a good ruler? Should various social classes have equal say and rights within larger society? I think it’s fair to say that more questions are posited than are actually answered and solved. Yet, the journey along the way is definitely worth taking. It is not a happy, shiny, rose-colored trek within these pages. Real life happens here. Dark and gruesome deaths take place. Maguire has done a wonderful job of building his own narrative onto an already established fantasy world first created by another. He certainly puts his own stamp and personality onto it, but does so with many nods to the original work, which I believe shows his respect and admiration for that which came before.
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AMERICAN GODS by Neil Gaiman
This is a complicated book review to write, but it seems fitting, I guess, for it is a complicated book to read. I nearly gave up on it halfway through, but decided to ride it out. Though to be fair, I did not read the book under the best of circumstances. The first mistake I made was to read it as an e-book as opposed to a physical book. I am of the camp, that we encounter and digest books different depending on the form in which we consume them. There are certain books that work fine to be read in digital form. For me, this is not one of them. It would have been beneficial for me to actually have been able to riffle through pages at times to return to certain passages for a refresher of characters and what had happened to them previously. My second mistake was to read it in short bits here and there with pronounced lapses in between reading times. This added to the sense of confusion and lack of cohesion I struggled to overcome in holding the wandering narrative together.
The driving force that gave me the impetus to fight through to the end was the fact that I really cared about the main character, Shadow, and wanted to see the completion of his journey. We meet Shadow in prison and find out he is close to being released and able to return to his wife. Tragically, his wife is killed in an automobile accident, which results in his being released several days early, though now with little hope or passion for his future. On the plane ride to attend her funeral, he encounters and is hired as a bodyguard by a mysterious man who calls himself Mr. Wednesday, which sends Shadow on a path that will change how he sees the world and his place in it.
The underlying narrative of the book is an upcoming battle between the old gods brought to America by those who immigrated to its shores and the new gods of media, culture, television, etc. The old gods claim their power is waning because the people are forgetting them and turning to the newer ones. Mr. Wednesday is traversing the country trying to recruit the old gods to join the cause. Shadow is not fully aware of who he is working for and what they are really doing when he first signs on to work with him. He is introduced to this new reality slowly and gradually along the way.
Shadow, at his core, seems to be a decent person intent on trying to do the right thing. It his grief and, yes, the appearances in physical form of his deceased wife that keeps him from asking questions about what exactly he has been drawn into much earlier than he does. Though, as we find out by the end of the book, not all of his choices have been his own and he had lost his agency and control of his life’s heading way before we as the reader have been introduced to him.
It was a little disconcerting as a Christian to see Jesus portrayed, albeit in a brief passing reference, as sad and powerless and placed in the same category as the other old gods. Yet, I read this book as a piece of literature (which it is) and not as a spiritual guidebook (which it is not). So, I was able to not let that bother me. Mostly. I guess the fact I felt I had to mention it means it lingered with me to a degree.
The bottom line is this; though, this will probably never be one of those top of my head recommendations to someone who asks what they should read, I would not actively dissuade someone from approaching it. There were some well-written passages and some very thought-provoking themes throughout. There a quite a few sections that I would be excited to do some close reading of and discuss in setting such as some of my college literature classes. And I could see this book resonating with me at some other time in my reading journey. I feel that it was probably not the right book at the right time in my life.
If you have waded through many of my book reviews, you may have seen before and may see it in this one that perhaps I come off as a little wishy-washy and not truly committed to one side or the other in my opinion on a book. There are few books, especially if I have stuck with them to the end, that I will just outright call a bad book. I have too much of a love of books, respect for those who write them, and awareness that each reader is different and as stated above, the knowledge that certain books resonate with people at different times in their lives. The best I can offer in any of my reviews is to share what my experience within the pages was like.
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Christmas Eve Reflection for 2021
Christmas Eve. The day before the birth of Christ. This is the part of the Christmas Story where we have Mary and Joseph coming to the end of their long journey and finally arriving in Bethlehem. It’s not hard to imagine that they are tired, weary, exhausted, homesick for family left behind, and perhaps hungry and thirsty as well. Mary, too, is probably aware that the time for the birth of the child is drawing near. As new parents-to-be they are both probably nervous, anxious, scared, excited, and filled with anticipation. But, in the midst of the turmoil of all those emotions, they also have the promise that God is there with them. In fact, as Mary carries the Son of God in her womb she experiences the fulfillment of that promise in a most unique way.
We too, are coming to the end of our journey. This four week journey of Advent which for us has been a time of waiting and preparation. We too, have our own turmoil of emotions within us. We are tired, weary, exhausted. Perhaps partly from shopping, wrapping, and cooking. But, many of us are also burdened by worries, and troubles of life. Many too, are homesick for family. Family that is unable to travel and gather together. Others are facing a first holiday after the death of a loved one. We are also excited, anxious, nervous, and filled with anticipation as we prepare to once again welcome the Christ Child into our hearts and ponder the mystery of what that means. The good news is that within the midst of our own turmoil of emotions, we too share in that promise that God is here with us. Though our experience is not like Mary’s, it is no less real.
Tomorrow, Mary will cradle and hold the Son of God in her arms. Today, and every day, may you let the Son of God cradle and hold you in his arms.
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A Truck Stop Christmas
Several years back, due to various scheduling conflicts my family found it difficult to plan a good and proper Christmas get-together. We were all available on Christmas Day, but neither group had the time to make the drive to the other’s location. Thus, that is how I, my mom, my dad, my sister, and my sister-in-law found ourselves celebrating Christmas at a truck stop near the border of Virginia and North Carolina. That was the half-way point between all our various households.
This was one of the nice, full-service truck stops that offered quite a few amenities for over the road truckers. One of those amenities was a restaurant with a buffet dinner. Since all the other food places in that vicinity were closed for the holiday, that was basically our one and only option. Although, the food, as we came to discover, was actually tasty and appetizing.
After enjoying a meal and spending time together talking and catching up, we moved on out to the parking lot. Standing at the rear of our vehicles with the back doors lifted, we exchanged gifts with each other.
No, this is not the part of the story where I reveal something happened that was so awe-inspiring beautiful that I can now claim that this turned out to be the best Christmas of my life. Because, the truth is that it was not the best Christmas I ever had. I can name many that would top the list compared to that one. Yet, it also was not the worst Christmas possible that someone could experience. I can still look back on that year and know that even though it was a less desirable day than the one we all wanted, it was still a day of being blessed. I had food. I had time with family. I even got some presents. And even there, in a truck stop parking lot, I felt the presence of Immanuel, God with us.
This time of year people work hard to hold on to their family traditions. There is nothing inherently wrong with that attitude. In fact, traditions help promote stability, cohesiveness, and the strengthening of shared memories. The danger lies in the fact that some individuals hold such a grip on the tradition that any wrinkle in the plans or speed bump along the way throws them for such a loop that they find themselves unable to see or acknowledge the small blessings that still await in the here and now, and may be hiding within that wrinkle, speed bump, or setback.
Blessings can be found in the most unexpected places. Like, say for example, a baby lying in a manger in Bethlehem. He did not look anything like the Messiah the people of the time were expecting. Yet, this little child forever changed the world.
Where ever you find yourself this coming Christmas Day, whether it be a beautifully adorned family home, working, or even in the middle of a truck stop parking lot, I pray that you will find yourself blessed and feel the presence of Immanuel.
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Weeping Willow – A Poem
Weeping Willow by Melissa Peeler I do not weep alone, the Willow weeps with me. In a synchronous swaying of limbs, Weighted with Grief and Gravity. Behind the leafy veil, Mourning tears and Morning dew mingle. Branch tips and Fingertips caress the ground Where lie buried my Hopes and Dreams and Memories that will never be. Someday I shall return to dust - the dust from which I came. Those who walk this land Will not even know my name. But Maybe. Just Maybe. The Willow will weep for me. Written in 2021
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Are You Ready for Christmas?
Following is a link to the copy of the Sunday morning message I delivered Dec 6, 2015 in my role as a Lay Speaker.
Someday
The following is from a personal journal entry written 7–25–2012.
Someday. A word of both hope and hindrance. Hope, because it offers promise of a future in which the irritants of the present are no longer in existence. It doesn’t matter if those current irritants are external pressures or interior demons. What matters is that with no actual requirement of immediate action one can envision a time of clarity and utopia. A time where the now is no longer, and since the now seems unbearable, there must be in place a point of time to which the days are marching toward that offers beauty, peace, and an un-named betterness.
The quandary lies in the fact that there is in fact no requirement of immediate action. There is where the hindering aspect settles in and plants the seeds of destruction. Without some course of action or correction the mythical someday can never actualize. The irritants will not, can not just de-materialize on their own. A cleaning must take place, a scrubbing and scouring that tears away the old, allowing an eroding of the old barriers and structures. Absent this removal, the re-building can’t commence.
It is all well and good to dream of a someday. Some days it is that dream alone that allows us to wade through the every day monotony of life. But, the dream must not be expected to materialize on its own. If this is done, then someday may simply morph into never.
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Two Red Birds Chasing the Wind – A Poem
Two Red Birds Chasing the Wind by Melissa Peeler
Two red birds chasing the wind on a partly cloudy day in Spring. Or is it a partly sunny day? What amount of obscurity tips the scales the other way? The answer does not matter to either the birds or the day. Both continue along their way. The deeper question lies within my soul. Where, too, exists a partly cloudy day. Or is it partly sunny? Here, the answer matters. A choice must be made. The amount of obscurity will tip the scales. But the choice doesn't have to be made today, this minute, this second. So until that day comes - I will worry less about semantics and instead focus on the antics of two red birds chasing the wind. Written in May 2012
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Thanksgiving Thoughts and A Prayer
After 33 years in the healthcare field, I have become accustomed to and accepting of the fact that I will sometimes have to work on holidays. Today is one of those days. I say this completely free from a spirit of complaint, whining, or a “poor me” attitude. I sit here today with a long list of things I am thankful for. I won’t name them all now, but I’ll briefly say I’m thankful that my family is able to gather together for a meal today and thankful for a dad who is planning to bring me a plate for supper tonight, despite my insistence that I am perfectly okay with waiting to eat leftovers tomorrow. I am also thankful that I am working with many co-workers that I truly enjoy working with. In fact, I may prefer the company of some of my work family tonight over my real family anyway. Just kidding!! In short, I am thankful for the many blessings in my life.
With that said, however, I do have one thing resting heavy on my heart tonight from an incident from last night at work. I was going to try to describe the situation in very vague details, but I don’t want to risk in anyway violating the social media policies of my place of employment. So, to whittle it down to the bare essence, after two brief conversations with an individual I felt a familiar tug at my heart that I knew was God telling me to reach out to this person. This happened after I encountered them while they were leaving. They told me they hoped I would have a Happy Thanksgiving the next day. I responded with, “Thank You, and I hope you do as well.” The thing is what little bit I know of this person’s history made me think as soon as I said what I did, that the chances of them having a nice big family meal to attend was very low. That was when God prodded me to turn around, call out to the person and just ask them what their Thanksgiving would look like. At the same time, I had another dissenting voice come into my head. This one said, but why? It’s not like you can do anything about it if they don’t. All I really had to offer in that moment was a little cash if I was to find out they didn’t have enough money to eat today or in the next couple of days. Regretfully, I let the dissenting voice over-ride the initial voice and I let this person walk on without following up with them.
So my main prayer today has been of two things. First, that whoever God tapped on the shoulder next to reach out to this person would be more obedient than I was. Second, if possible that God will take out one of the future blessings he has for me in the bucket with my name on it and moves it into this individual’s bucket. Don’t know if things work that way or not, but that is the request. Since it is Thanksgiving and football is a staple of that, I’ll put it in these terms. I committed a penalty on that play last night, so I need to pay with some loss of yardage. Doesn’t mean the goal line has disappeared from my view or has become unattainable. Just means I’ve got further to go to get there now.
I believe in a God of forgiveness and of second chances. I also know that God has many tools and people at his disposal to accomplish his will. His kingdom does not crumble simply because I failed to do what was asked of me. This was, however, a sin of omission for which I need to atone.
As we wrap up a day of giving thanks and being mindful of the blessings of God, we must always remember that we have to be open and ready to be the conduit of a blessing to another person so that they can add to their list of things to be thankful for.
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Count Your Blessings – But, Don’t Ignore Your Despairs
Over the years I have come to the realization that there are times when well-meaning Christians offer up advice or common phrases with all the intention of helping someone in need, never realizing it is the wrong advice or words at the wrong time. The common encouragement to “count your blessings” given to someone who is troubled, worried, or burdened by a problem to the point of complaining is one of the prime examples of such a situation. It is often paired with the reminder to the person that there is always someone worse off than they are with whatever problem they are dealing with at the time.
To be clear, counting our blessings is something that should be part of our daily lives. We should pause and reflect at least once during the day and offer thanks to God for what he has done and is doing for us. For one thing, he is worthy and deserving of our praise and thanksgiving. Secondly, it is beneficial to us for our mental and emotional well-being. Remembering that not everything in our life is bad helps put us in a better frame of mind to deal with issues that do arise during our day.
The issue I have with people reminding others to count their blessings is that often the implicit un-spoken meaning of what they are saying is basically, “Quit your belly-aching and complaining. Stop worrying about your little problems.” The problem is that when we don’t address the so-called little problems and work through them, then they begin to grow into bigger problems. While simply worrying about them is not the right course of action, they do require some kind of action and attention to actually deal with them.
If you will permit me, I would like to use a modern day parable to illustrate my point. (And for those of you who know I work in a hospital, here is the disclaimer that this is not a true story.)
There once was a man who went to the Emergency Room because he had a fish hook stuck in his palm. While sitting in the waiting room he saw a man come in with an 8-inch gash on his leg from a chainsaw accident. The stranger sitting beside him said, “Look on the bright side. You’re not having as bad a day as him.” The man with the fish hook stuck in his palm agreed with the stranger. He then decided to go on home. It’s just a little fish hook, he said to himself. The pain will be probably ease up soon and though it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient I can still use my hand with it in there. And so he did. After a week, it got a little red and inflamed. Yet, he could still use it some and had learned to work with the limitations it caused. However, as the weeks went by it got increasingly worse because of the infection inside. Eventually, and because he waited to late to address the issue, he ended up losing the hand entirely and was left with a life-altering situation to deal with. Meanwhile, on the other side of town the man with the chainsaw injury was already healed, had his stitches removed and was back to cutting down trees.
In the immediacy of the moment in the Emergency Room visit it was entirely true that the man with the chain saw injury had the more serious problem and needed quicker and more intensive intervention. The truth of that, however, did not negate or erase the fact that the man with the fish hook did also require some attention and treatment as well.
We do ourselves a dis-service when we continually measure our problems and issues with the problems and issues of those around us. Yes, we can always see someone who is dealing with a situation that is larger and needs more intensive attention. Again, that does not negate or erase the fact that whatever is our problem should be completely ignored. If left unacknowledged, that problem can fester and grow exponentially and cause more trouble down the road.
I am inherently bad about sabotaging my own self without needing help from other well-meaning people reminding me to count my blessings. When I am in despair or dealing with a troubling problem the first thing I tell myself is that there is someone else worse off than I am. While that is the absolute truth, the result is that I add a layer of guilt on top of my problem, because then I start berating myself for worrying about my “little old” problem instead of helping those who are worse off than I am. The problem is, guilt does nothing to help fix whatever it is I am dealing with. Instead, it just helps it fester, redden, and become a more infectious problem. And the more layers of guilt I add, the worse it gets.
We tend to live in a state of mind of Either/Or thinking. Either I can focus on my so-called little problems or I can do what God calls us as Christians to do, in that we are to humble ourselves and put others first. That kind of thinking though sometimes leads us to put aside and completely ignore our own problems. However, there is another alternative. We can instead try to live in a state of mind of Both/And thinking. Wherein, we can work to address and take action on the things that are bothering us and we can reach out to others in need at the same time. We don’t always have to ignore our own needs to try to meet the needs of others.
The other week I reflected on the command of Jesus to “Love our neighbors as ourselves.” When that command is discussed or studied most of the attention and teaching goes into explaining and determining the meanings of the words “love” and “neighbor”. I would suggest we under appreciate the importance of the word “as” in that commandment. In no way does God suggest we love ourselves any less than the way we love others. For me to love others as God calls me to, requires me to love myself in a healthy way. That means not ignoring my worries, despairs, and troubles simply because someone else’s is a little larger at the moment. With God’s help I can succeed with Both/And thinking.
It is a lesson I am trying to learn. Trying to learn.
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A Veteran’s Note (And More)
This is one of, if not perhaps, my sister’s favorite possession and is really more her story to tell than mine. But, I hope she will not mind if I share a few of my own thoughts on this, especially today on Veteran’s Day. She is more than welcome to share her own words at any time regarding what this note and torn dollar has meant to her over the years.
When she joined the United States Navy in 1993 she was given this torn, crumpled, world weary dollar and the hand-written note from our grandfather on my mother’s side. He was know as Granddaddy to the four of us granddaughters. He had served in the Navy during World War II. The ship he served on, the USS Chase (DE-158) was a destroyer escort. On May 20, 1945 during the Battle of Okinawa it was hit by a kamikaze pilot and severely damaged. The crew struggled and worked hard to keep it afloat and they were eventually able to be towed into safety.
My grandfather was a man of few words. But, the words he spoke were always worthy of being heeded. He was a quiet, reflective sort always taking in what was going on around him.
The text of the note above is as follows:
Robin,
This is my lucky dollar. Carried all during World War II. Went in the water with me at Okinawa when our ship was hit 1943 [should be 1945]. Hope it brings you as Much luck.
Love, Granddaddy
Sept 25, 1993
I could attempt to write more, but in this case the image itself says so much on its own. It embodies the love and pride of a grandfather for his granddaughter (which he had in his own way for all four of us). It also embodies the respect of one veteran for another. Actually, two veterans for each other. On his part, in the act of sharing it with her. On her part, in the way she has memorialized that sharing.
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Check the Junk Drawer!
We all have them. A drawer, or possibly several drawers in our house into which we throw all the random items that don’t really have a particular place to go. We call it a junk drawer, but that does not necessarily mean everything in there is actually junk. Mostly, it’s just for things that don’t necessarily “fit in” in a specific location with a specific classification.
It may not occur every day, but I’m sure in most houses at least once a week or so the phrase, “Check the Junk Drawer!” is yelled out from one person to another when they are looking for something they can’t find elsewhere. Most items that are in there are not needed very frequently. However, it is often the place to find a critical item needed in a critical moment.
In my case, a close relative to the junk drawer is the miscellaneous file. No matter what kind of filing system I’m dealing with – whether it is my filing cabinet, computer files, writing journals, or my photo organizing index – I always have a folder or a section labeled miscellaneous. Again, it is where the items go that just don’t fit in, but are still worth keeping around.
As I reflect on my life and relationships over the years such as school, work, or circles of friendships, I realize that I have usually felt my place was in the junk drawer or the miscellaneous file. It’s always been hard for me to feel like I completely “fit in” a specific group. And now, as I have watched friends over the years live out their roles as spouses, parents, and some even into roles as grandparents, I again find myself wondering where and how I’m supposed to be classified.
Now, don’t get me wrong as I make the comparison. As I said earlier, not everything in the junk drawer is junk. It is put there because it is expected to be useful at some point. Same with the files placed in the miscellaneous folder. Just because they don’t sort out very easy into a category doesn’t mean they are worthless. If they were worthless they wouldn’t need to be saved at all.
So, if anybody needs me I’ll be over here hanging out in the junk drawer. And in that critical moment you realize that I’m just what you need at that particular time I’ll be here ready to help you out.
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Morning Meditation
As I stepped outside yesterday morning, this is the scene that greeted me. Several things came to mind from this one image.
First, the rising sun on a new day reminded me of Lamentations 3:22-23 where we are told that the Lord’s mercies and compassions are new every morning. Yesterday’s worries and troubles are now in the past. Not forever gone or necessarily resolved. But, today offers a chance for a new perspective and a new opportunity to trust in God to be at work helping me through them.
Second, as I looked at the long extended branches of the tree I was reminded of all the birds I have seen take refuge and rest there over the last 20+ years. I then reflected on Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” And also on Psalm 92:1, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. “
Finally, my thoughts turned to today’s Worship Service where we will celebrate All Saint’s Day with a time of remembrance of those lost over the past two years. If you look close, that large tree with the extended limbs is now dead and will need to be taken down in the near future. However, if you look even closer you can see around the bottom of the trunk that there are several small shoots that are growing around it. They are in a sense a legacy of the tree that will soon be gone. The same is true of the loved ones we will honor and remember today. Their journey here on Earth may have ended, but they all leave behind a rich legacy of new growth in their family, friends, and others they touched throughout their lives.
For today:
May you see the mercies and compassions of the Lord.
May you find refuge and strength in his Presence.
May you remember loved ones in your life that are now gone with smiles and happy memories and live in a way to continue the goodness and love they shared with you while they were here.
AMEN.
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THE ORPHAN MASTER’S SON by Adam Johnson
One thing I do vividly recall about this book is staying in a state of semi-confusion for at least half, and perhaps up to three quarters of the book. Having said that, it would be easy to conclude that I would not recommend this book to anyone else. That would be a wrong conclusion to make. Confusing? Yes. Meandering? Yes. Yet, in a strange compelling way that state of confusion is what drove me to hang in there and follow the story through to the end. It was not as though it was hard to follow. It was more about trying to discern the reliability of the narrator. There is a sense that you aren’t suppose to believe all the events that are presented.
The setting for the story is North Korea. The book is actually divided into two parts. In Part One we are introduced to Pak Jun Do, who is the Orphan Master’s son. We follow along his journey through various dangerous assigned work positions. Though much of the work he has to do pains his conscience, he always follows through with the orders he is given. Because of this loyalty to the job at hand he is eventually sent to language school to learn English. It is his assignment to a fishing vessel working to intercept and translate radio communications that sets him on a path for a major transformation in his life further on.
In Part Two of the book we encounter an un-named interrogator and his involvement with interrogating a man named Commander Ga who is under suspicion of murdering his wife and children. As this section moves between two separate timelines of the past and present, secrets are revealed and a strange and complex love story unfolds. Here, too, in this section we are bombarded, as are the citizens, with a fictionalized hyped-up version of propaganda telling a different story than the one otherwise being shared.
Admittedly, I am not an expert on North Korea. However, the horrific images of violence, subjugation, and coercion forced upon some of the characters does seem to be to an extent a plausible scenario of life in that country. This is most definitely not a book that is a pleasure to read in that there are few, if any, feel-good moments depicted. But, it does serve as a catalyst to stir quite a few questions. Such as, what is reality vs. fiction? How far would one go for their own personal survival? How far would one go for the survival of those they love?
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The Desires of My Heart
Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
There have been times in the past, and even still to this day, when I’ve felt frustrated, thinking I’m serving God faithfully yet wondering why certain things aren’t going the way I would prefer. At those times, I am tempted to argue with the psalmist that I am not receiving the desires of my heart. What I must remind myself, however, is that the possibility exists that I am wrong about the true desires of my heart.
We all think it is easy to know what we want. But the world around us manipulates and deceives us into believing we desire – even need – things that in reality we don’t. These desires may be material in nature or just experience or relationship oriented. We are bombarded by marketing ploys every day telling us what the good life should consist of. Some of these ploys we are aware of and some we are not.
The reality is that the Creator who designed me knows the True desires of my heart even in a way I myself don’t always know.
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Half-Moon in an Afternoon Sky – A Poem
Half-Moon in an Afternoon Sky by Melissa Peeler
Like a white circular cloud sliced/cut in half. One unaware of the workings of the heavens might ask: Where is the other half? Has it floated away into nothingness? Disappeared forever? Yet, I know it is still there. Full and Whole. Present - though not Visible. Still pulling the tides of the oceans. I sit at a table usually set for two, now only set for one. I Grieve but do not Mourn. For you - the other half of my severed moon are present - Though not seen. Still pulling the tides of my soul
Written in October 2011
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Dressing for Christian Success
Following is a link to the copy of the Sunday morning message I delivered May 2019 in my role as a Lay Speaker.
Dressing for Christian Success
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HER FEARFUL SYMMETRY by Audrey Niffenegger
Niffenegger has the ability to make the un-common common and the impossible possible. Her poetic prose, depth of characters, and attention to detail in describing a setting envelop the reader in that they forget they are being asked to suspend reality. In her first novel, The Time Traveler’s Wife, the reader journeys along with a man who woos, marries, and sustains a relationship in a very non-linear manner. Here, in Her Fearful Symmetry, we effortlessly accept a ghost as a living entity and full character in her own right. This alternate understanding of reality becomes so enveloping that even when it screams out to be read as a horror story, I found myself unable to do so. It is a rare talent that can make the horrific beautiful and mesmerizing.
The story begins when Elspeth Noblin passes away and leaves her London apartment to the twin daughters of her own estranged twin sister. Shortly after moving in, they discover that their aunt is still an occupant as well. Long-held secrets are revealed to some while still with-held from others. The twins must navigate their own relationship as well as friendships and more with Elspeth’s neighbors, of which one was Elspeth’s lover. Each character in their own way must grapple with how to separate their own self-identity from others with whom they are inextricably linked.
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Notes from a Book Nerd 