Posted in Personal Thoughts, Sunday Reflections

God’s Steadfast Love

Following is an entry from my Faith Journal from October 14, 2011. Turns out my current daily Bible readings are in line with where I was at that time. I am once again struck by the times the phrase “steadfast love” appears. Eleven years later, I still need to take time to reflect on the nature of God’s love for God’s people. And, even more importantly right now, God’s love for me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I sometimes feel completely unlovable. Yet, I sometimes can feel undeserving of God’s love because of certain actions or thoughts that are pervasive in my life at the moment. I constantly have to remind myself, or being reminded, that it is not about me deserving or earning God’s love. I don’t deserve it. I can’t earn it. It is a gift from a holy God who chose from the beginning and continues to choose everyday to love me. Not for what I’ve done. Not for what I can do for him. Simply because I am one of God’s creation. May you be reminded today that God loves you. Whether you want him to or not. Though I truly hope you want him to.

My current daily readings over the last several days has included multiple Psalms for each day. The subject of God’s “steadfast love” has been a recurring presence in many of them. Steadfast: Fixed, Immovable, Not Varying. It implies one who is resolute and sure of their current direction and doesn’t waver from their set path or plans. God may be saddened and grieve for us over things we do that go against his commands because he knows the potential harm we are exposing ourselves to. He may even be angry at us at times for being so obstinate and selfish and refusing to treat and/or help others in their troubles. But, despite this sadness, grieving, or anger his love remains resolute and sure. It holds fast. It stays fixed. It doesn’t move. Most humans have a breaking point where love for another, even family, can be lost – perhaps to be repaired at a later date, but perhaps not. God never loses his love for us. With God, rejection and separation can only occur from one side of the equation, that is, from us.

Posted in Sunday Reflections

A VBS Lesson

I am writing this on a Sunday morning. Yesterday, we had the first day of a 2-day weekend Vacation Bible School at my church. I’ll be honest, I was very discouraged and downcast the week prior to and even up to the point at 12:00 when we officially began. Despite sending personal invitations in the mail to prior attendees, putting up flyers in the area, inviting people via our Facebook page, and several other ways of getting out the message I had only heard back of maybe 3 to 5 children possibly showing up. And when we did start, we only had 4 children in attendance. I had several encouraging voices around me of other adults reminding me that that numbers aren’t important, that it is always worth it even if you impact the life of one child. I was doing my best to hold on to that advice; yet, it was hard. I was also doing my best to not let my disappointment and discouragement show to the children who were there. I was being as upbeat and positive as I could on the outside, even while not feeling it on the inside.

By the time I got home last night, I was in a much better frame of mind and mood. Though the crowd was small, we had a wonderful afternoon. It was great watching the kids (and joining in with them) have a day filled with laughter, fun, tasty meals, fellowship with each other and, yes, some moments of learning about how God loves us and wants us to share that love with others.

Additionally, as God tends to do, he showed up in an unexpected way and taught Me a lesson in the midst of me teaching the children. We were discussing Matthew 3:13-17 which is the account of Jesus being baptized by John in the Jordan River. We were talking about what happened after Jesus was baptized, about how heaven was opened, a dove descended, and voice from heaven declared, “This is my Son whom I dearly love; I find happiness in him.”

It was at that point that one of the children, a very soon-to-be 6 year old, asked a question. He wanted to know if the people that were there watching this baptism heard this voice with their ears or did they just hear God speak to them in their hearts? I want you to read that question again. It is a very profound question for someone of such an age. I started looking around the room for the Pastor because I was going to pass that question off to him. Unfortunately for me, it was one of the rare times he had chosen to step out of the room. So I gave my best answer. First, I told the child that was a great question to even ask in the first place. Second, I told him that the Bible doesn’t say for sure but that for me personally when I read that passage I have always taken it to mean they heard an actual voice with their ears. Later, when the pastor came back in the room we went to him for his answer to the question. His answer was basically the same – we can’t know for an absolute certainty. It could have been either way. He also was impressed at the depth of this child’s question and told him so. Ultimately, the point is that the people there heard and received the message from God, whether or not it was received audibly or through their hearts being attuned to God.

While the question itself was important, in this situation for me the actual answer to the question is not the main lesson here. The lessons to be found are within the asking of the question by this six-year-old. Following, are my take-aways from this situation.

First, the fact he asked the question showed he was not only listening to the story, but he was in fact engaged in active listening. He wasn’t just hearing what was happening. He was actively placing himself in the story. He was trying to imaging himself there with the people and wondering how they felt at the time and how they experienced the event. That is the approach we all should take when we are studying events of the Bible. Putting ourselves within the story helps us open ourselves up to what is being taught and prepares us to learn what God is trying to tell us and teach us.

Second, I was impressed and heartened to know that this young child at this young age has already grasped the concept that God can indeed speak to our hearts individually. He is already aware that God does reach out to us and does talk to us, whether we hear with our ears or not. It is vitally important for us to know that God can lead, guide, and direct us by speaking directly to our hearts. Hearing that still, small voice within us is important to both our personal spiritual development as well as how we are led to interact and engage with others.

Third, by asking the question that he asked, he showed that in his mind there are no limits to what God can do. Just because this six-year-old has never heard God speak out loud to to the point he can hear him with his ears, he has not ruled out the possibility that God has the ability to, in fact, do just that very thing. How many times as adults do we, either consciously or unconsciously, put such limitations on how God can act or move within our lives? I know I am guilty of this! Just because we have yet to see God move or act in some specific manner previously in our lives does not limit God’s capabilities to do so.

Yes, as adults there are some childish ways we have to put aside to become mature. However, we are also called to have a childlike faith in regards to the kingdom of God. See Matthew 18:1-4. Today I encourage you to be an active listener when being taught or reading lessons in the Bible, know and trust that God can and will speak directly to your hearts, and don’t put limitations on how God can and move within your life just because you haven’t seen it done that way before.

Posted in Personal Thoughts

Lonely Lines In Search of a Home

Below are some random lines and thoughts that have been collecting dust in my writing journal. They all have been waiting patiently to be turned into either a poem or essay, but their time has not yet come. Maybe it never will. So, for now, I thought I would let them hang out together here in the hopes they would feel a little less lonely.

  • Depression is a black hole of the soul. It sucks all joy, love, laughter into its nothingness.
  • Watching the trees in the Fall is like watching a fire-works show in slow motion.
  • A Merry-Go-Round Mind.
  • Sparks of Inspiration flitter in my mind like lightning bugs skittering through the night, elusive and just out of reach.
  • We ponder Death in an attempt to perceive Life. For Life is nothing less than a march to the grave.
  • Even Insecurity contains a dose of Vanity. Believing others are ceding moments of their precious time to criticize you has an air of pretension.
  • An empty bottle of alcohol is never truly empty. Instead, it is filled with all the things it has taken away. Memories. Friendships. It is replaced with the distilled spirits of friends and family. It is full of wasted memories half-forgotten.
  • Just because things are the way they are doesn’t always mean things are the way they are supposed to be.
  • Your Absence is a Presence that trails my every move, an invisible shadow at my heels.
  • Past and Present collide, like long dead stars that illumine the Night.
  • It doesn’t require the weight of the world to crush someone. It only requires the weight of their world.
  • An evening breeze dances on the leaves of the trees, whispering secrets of the night.
  • I do not fear the noise. I do not fear the silence. I do fear the noise that hides unheard within the silence.
  • Fear of disappearing like a pen slowly draining of ink that grows lighter and lighter until the words just fade out of existence all together.

Posted in Books, Personal Thoughts

I’m Still Here!

I thought I needed to drop in and let anyone who is interested know that I am still here and have not abandoned this blog. I know my posts over the past few months have decreased in frequency. It is definitely not for lack of interest or for lack of things I want to say. I also still have many older writings and poems I want to share and I do want to keep my reading lists (both the ones I’ve read and want to read) up to date, including more book reviews. So please don’t give up on me yet. Keep checking in on here periodically. I promise I’m going to do my best here.

Back in May I announced to family, friends, and my local church that I am considering a call into full-time ministry as a Licensed Local Pastor in the United Methodist Church. This includes a time and process of discernment that I have to proceed through. This has been taking up quite a bit of time and mental/emotional/spiritual energy and has kept me from devoting the time I would love to spend on this.

With that said, I would like to repeat something I know I’ve shared in other places here. I do not claim to be the most read individual or the smartest individual. You can find better writing and more sophisticated thoughts in many other places. My goal for this has always been to just be a part of a conversation at large. Though not the smartest, I feel I do (at least occasionally) have something worthwhile to add. So, I wanted a way to share that with others who may be interested in my perspective on things. Additionally, as I am only one individual I do not claim that any of my thoughts on spiritual and faith matters should be taken as a full representation of the United Methodist Church. My views, while certainly influenced by my membership of and love of this denomination, are my own. I am an imperfect person trying to work out my own calling from God and my own spiritual journey as best as I can. I always encourage (respectful) push back and commentary on anything I post. I am not unwilling to examine and consider viewpoints that are different from my own. Our life experiences shape and mold who we are, how we engage the world, and even how we encounter God. I hope I never get to a point where I am unwilling to admit I may be wrong about something. But, I do promise that the things I write come from the heart and out of a true desire to understand God’s love and to share it with others.

One area I would love to get back to is adding more Book Reviews. I hope that I will soon be able to carve out some time for this. Until then, however, I have at least come up with a Rating System I am somewhat satisfied with. I say satisfied because I have a lot of trouble rating and reviewing books. (I’m sure I’ve said this before elsewhere as well!} I respect anyone who puts time and energy into writing, because I know and understand how difficult it can be. Thus, I have a hard time being too critical about a book at times – mostly out of sympathy for the author. But, below I have included my current rating system. I hope maybe it will help if you visit here in the hopes of getting some reading suggestions. Again, applying to my lists is a work in progress, so please be patient. Though I hope it will go quicker than writing actual reviews. And as always, I welcome any questions about any particular book and I’ll respond as quickly as possible.

★★★★★ Awesome! Tops on Re-Read List. Want with me if ever stranded on a desert island.
★★★★☆ Great! Would Re-Read if have time.
★★★☆☆ Good. Would Re-Read if nothing else available.
★★☆☆☆ Okay.
★☆☆☆☆ Not Good. Struggled to Finish.

(No Rating) Usually means is a sort of niche book assigned or read for a particular personal reason.

Thanks for visiting. I hope that something here on this blog will be helpful to you on either your reading journey, spiritual journey, or just life in general. Thanks!

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