Category: Religion

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. That was what the lady in front of me in the checkout line pulled out of her grocery bags and handed back to the cashier when she discovered she didn’t have enough money on her card for everything she had picked out while shopping that evening. The lady had stated she was afraid she didn’t have enough for it all. And she was right. I don’t recall or didn’t see all the other items she had except for the 2 gallon jugs of milk, but my instinct and what I did see was it mostly consisted of typical normal everyday food items that people often need. There were no $100.00 steaks or lobsters with this purchase.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. One can argue that was the wise decision to put back. Sweets and desserts aren’t the necessary main staples we need for our diet. And if you’re like me, you don’t really need them at all. But come one, we all know how nice it is to enjoy a sweet treat like that every once in awhile. Sometimes we deserve nice frivolous things. Even if it is just a little cookie. I say this next part with all respect and no judgement in my heart. But one could tell with this lady’s appearance that she probably didn’t get to experience a whole lot of nice frivolous things currently in her life. Cookies and cake rolls could have been one of those that were a very special treat to her on some days.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I stood there watching this encounter with this lady with my own buggy full of a mixture of items including groceries, household items, dog treats, office items, shorts, and shoes that ultimately after I checked out came to a total of $277.00. That was more than my usual bill at this particular store when I shop there, but it had been awhile since I had been so I was stocking up on some things I needed. Needed, but didn’t need in the sense I couldn’t live without them. Also, I had already mentally prepared for the fact that this was going to be an expensive outing. And I was financially prepared for it as well. And still had money left over until next payday without dipping into any savings.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. As the lady was handing the items back to the cashier the thought came into my head, “Melissa, you could easily pay for those items for her.” If you know me I think you know what I’m going to say next. I obviously recognized that thought as not my own, but instead was the prompting of God speaking through the Holy Spirit asking me to do what I often pray and promise that I want to do. That is, to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ in this world. So, I stood there debating whether and how to go about doing it. The whether I should do it should have never been a matter of debate, but I let it. Again, it wasn’t about the money. I’m blessed to currently to be in a place to help others at times. The issue I debated in my head was more logistical. I worried that my offer to do so would embarrass the woman. Perhaps, she didn’t want the rest of the people around to also know that she couldn’t afford everything she wanted. I was also worried that she might be offended and it would hurt her dignity.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I stood there so long debating all the things above until eventually the opportunity had passed without me taking action and offering to pay for the items like I knew I should have done. The woman finished her transaction and left the store. I felt so bad that after paying for my items and loading them in the car I drove around the parking lot a couple times to see if by chance the lady may have still been there so I could offer her some cash money to buy herself some treats. Some nice frivolous treats that we all deserve to have occasionally. Unfortunately, I didn’t find her.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. I spent part of my drive home in tears over those two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. Crying over what they represented in that moment in time. One, they represented my failure to act on what I knew without a doubt I was being led to do in that moment by the God I claim to serve and follow. I know there will be forgiveness. God in fact will forgive me before I forgive myself. Yet, there is something larger than cookies, cake rolls, and a sweet treat involved. That lady will certainly not die for lack of those items. But, God offers something greater to us all than just nice frivolous treats such as those. God offers us his love, grace, and mercy. And God offers us forgiveness and eternal life through Jesus Christ who came to die in our place. It is in the moments that I don’t take the opportunity or follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to move and act in sharing and offering that good news to others that I am really failing to be what God has called me to be. It is in those moments where the risk of embarrassment or loss of dignity is to me and not the other person. Hopefully, I won’t debate that risk in my head and I will act without regard to either.

Two packs of cookies and one pack of cake rolls. Sometimes that’s all it is. But sometimes it is so much more than that.

You’ve probably all seen them and even had occasion to use one. Those plastic bags with a drawstring they have at hospitals to place your belongings in. They are used to hold clothes, shoes, and other personal items. Though made of plastic and may seem a little flimsy at first glance, they are usually amazingly pliant and more resilient than they appear to be. They can bear more weight than what you may think.

Having worked in an Emergency Department for nearly 21 years, I have countless times assisted a patient or family member place their belongings in these types of bags. Most of the time this is while the patient is temporarily sporting one of our notable hospital gowns that everyone loves to wear. Other times, to help bag up random loose items they want to securely transport home with them.

Sadly, I have often had several occasions where I have had to place the clothes and belongings of a patient who has died in such a bag as this to give to the grieving family. It is those times when I look at the bag and think it is not good enough for such a task. It seems even flimsier at those times. Yet, not just that. It just seems too ordinary, simple, and unworthy to be performing such a task as this. These items are no longer just someone’s belongings. They are now precious treasures and a last link to a lost loved one for a grieving family. I often wish I had something more than a plastic bag with a drawstring to place those items in and offer to the family.

I have also on these occasions been asked to pray with the family at the bedside during these times of loss and grieving. It is at these times I often view myself in the same manner as I view the bag. I feel too ordinary, simple, and unworthy to perform such a task as that. I feel that way because it is true. But while I am praying out loud with the family, I am also simultaneously praying quietly in my head asking the Holy Spirit to work through me and to help me be more resilient, stronger, and capable than I have it on my own to be. I am flimsy. I am weak. But with Christ working through me I can access a strength and power that helps me be more pliant, resilient, and hopefully more comforting and effective than ever feel that I am in the moment.

Several years ago during the time leading up to Christmas, I started something that has become an on and off habit. On and off, because admittedly sometimes I am so caught up in myself and thoughts that I forget to do it. It started out while standing in a checkout line in a store. The customers in line in front of me consisted of a mother and a young child. Suddenly, a voice in my head said, “Give that child a dollar bill and tell them to take it home and put it in their Piggy Bank.” I have learned over the years that that voice is the voice of the Holy Spirit prompting me to do something I would normally not think up on my own. So, I listened. The child and the mother were both shocked but very thankful for this random act of kindness.

So, I have continued to do this over the years. When out eating in a restaurant or standing in line, if I see a young child I give them a dollar and tell them one of my goals in life is to help kids Feed the Piggy. I have received a variety of responses to this over the years, but always positive. Some children are of course shy and they nestle into the arms of a parent, tentatively reach for the dollar, and maybe mumble a small thank you when prompted. Others get this big smile on their face, reach for it, and say thank you without being prompted. Still others smile, get excited, and tell me about a toy or game they have been saving up for and how this will help them reach their goal. The best, however, is that rare occasion when the child after one of these reactions turns to their parent and asks if they can give me a hug. A million dollar hug in exchange for a dollar is not a bad investment at all.

On Valentine’s Day of this year I found myself standing in line at the coffee shop of a local bookstore. While waiting for my order to be prepared I was standing near a table where a very young couple and a very young baby were sitting. I of course smiled and waved at the baby who gave me a small smile back. This led to me striking up the usual conversation with the parents – “How old is he? What’s his name? And I love his little Valentine’s Day bib and outfit.” The mother replied, “5 months. Jonah. And yes, he is Mommy’s little Valentine,” with obvious pride and love in her voice. After I got my coffee I walked over to the table with a dollar in my hand. I asked Jonah if he had a piggy bank yet. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t answer. But his mom said, “No, not yet. I wish.” I handed her the dollar, and still talking to Jonah I said, “Well, when you get one, here’s your first dollar to put in it.”

Obviously, Jonah didn’t respond. But the mother’s reaction melted my heart. She was so grateful and thankful. She told me that was such a sweet thing to do and that when she got home she was going to write the date on the dollar and write down how and when he got it. I wished them all well and went on my way.

While I’ll never know if that’s what she actually does with the dollar, a part of me kind of hope she does. Not for my sake. She doesn’t even know my name and will probably soon forget what I look like. But for Jonah’s sake I like to think that years down the road he’ll still have a dollar with a date written on it and a story behind it about the kindness of a stranger. I like to think that dollar will follow him through life and that on those days when life seems hard, harsh, and unkind that he will use to remind himself that not everyone is like that. And I like to think that it will inspire him to be the kind of person to share similar acts of kindness to the people he encounters in his life.

As stated, this all occurred on Valentine’s Day. According to a quick Internet search, I discovered that the people in the United States were expected to spend a total of $26 billion dollars this year for the holiday. I’m sure many of those gifts were bought and given with sincere love for the other person and received with sincere gratitude by the person getting the gift. Yet, we all must admit the commercialization of this holiday (and others) has also created a culture in where people feel the pressure of being obligated to spend big money on someone to express their love, as well as creating within others to feel a sense of entitlement to receive a wonderful and expensive gift.

Yet, my experience with my “Feed the Piggy” efforts over the years I have learned that the best gifts and the most appreciated gifts are those that come unexpectedly out of the blue and for no seemingly purpose whatsoever. That is true for the child (or parent on behalf of the child) receiving a simple dollar. But, I would dare say it has been even more true for me as I get the gift of simply giving someone a moment of unexpected joy and surprise.

I am writing this on the second day of the Lenten Season. So, to sum up, I would encourage you all to take time during this period of reflection leading up to Easter to think about the unexpected and unmerited gifts of Love, Mercy, and Grace offered to us by God. If you have taken advantage of them in your personal life, then take this time to be thankful. If you have not, here’s a message for you that they are available for the taking.

As you can see in this picture, there are two communion cups. The one on the left is used, stained, dusty, and dirty. The one on the right is new, clean, and clear. I have had the one on the left on my mantle above the fireplace since Christmas Eve of 2019. Now, I am not normally in the habit of keeping the cups when I receive communion, but this time was different as I will explain.

Since 2019 was one of the years my home church was not having a Christmas Eve Service, I looked around for another local United Methodist Church which I could attend that evening. I chose one nearby for the main reason that the Pastor of this church was someone I had known all my life, considered a friend, and whom I had (and still have) a great deal of respect for. At the end of the service as he prepared to serve the Sacrament of Holy Communion he told us that upon receiving the sacrament to hold onto our cup, take it home, and keep it. To be fair, I’m certain he never intended us to keep it as long as I have kept mine. But, I’m glad I have.

After all these years, I don’t remember the exact words he used that night. Essentially, though, he asked us to keep it for awhile as a reminder. Each time we looked at it and saw the stain of the grape juice we would be reminded of our Christ the Savior who can cleanse the stain of sin within us and make us whole and pure again. So, I did. And it was a great reminder. I had all intentions of eventually throwing it in the trash. But it would blend into the background for a bit basically become invisible. Then I would notice it again, be reminded of its significance, and think I’ll keep it a little longer. Weeks became months and there it remained, cycling through moments of blending in and inspiring my faith.

When I walked in that church that Christmas Eve as a visitor one of the first people to greet me was the wife of this Pastor. She too was someone I had known all my life, considered a friend, and had a great deal of respect for. She was a true joy to be around and had a beautiful and welcoming smile. Circumstances didn’t allow me to see either of these two people very often, but any time I saw either one of them I felt loved. About six months after this service she passed away. The next time that stained communion cup caught my eye I was reminded that Christmas Eve service was the last time I had seen her. After that, I could never bring myself to throw it away because it then played a role as another reminder to me in my life. It reminded me of a wonderful and beautiful soul that I had been privileged to know.

I realize that was a lot of back story to get to the actual point of this post. But, for me at least, it is an important part of the story I wanted to share. I realize that this stained and dirty communion cup is not going to invoke the same deep feelings in any one of you. What I do hope is that the juxtaposition of it in regards to a new clean cup beside the cross can inspire you as we head into a new year.

The end of the year always inspires reflection. We look back to where we’ve been, what we’ve done, and who we were. We also begin to look forward to where we want to go, what we want to do, and who we want to be. If we are honest with ourselves we all have regrets. And many of us feel stained, dirty, dusty, and maybe even used. Just like the cup on the left. The good news is that if we bring ourselves to the cross of Jesus we can be transformed to be like the cup on the right. We can be cleansed and made new. A simple prayer is all it takes.

The better news is that this does not just have to happen at the end of a calendar year. It can happen any day. It can happen every day if it needs to. We live in a messy and broken world. And even on our best days when we give our whole heart and soul into being a faithful Christian, we can find ourselves feeling like a mess and feeling broken. God does not want us feeling that way. God is constantly at work within us making us like the cup on the right. Go into the new year knowing that every day God is willing to be at work in your life picking you up, dusting you off, and making you clean – if you will let him. And share that Good News with others.

Many families follow the same tradition of fixing a nice turkey for Thanksgiving. And our family was no different – I remember many wonderful turkey dinners with my family. However, there is one Thanksgiving that I know my mother did not enjoy at all. Regrettably, that is my fault entirely.

For the first couple years of my life instead of fixing a whole turkey Mom always just fixed a turkey breast. With two small children that was all we needed anyway, not to mention that is the best part of the turkey. This worked out well until I turned five years old, started kindergarten, and became a woman (well actually girl) of the world. That year we sat down for dinner and Mom brings the turkey breast and all the other food to the table.

And what do I do but immediately start crying. “I thought you said we were going to have turkey,” I yelled between the wailing. Of course Mom tried to explain that it was a turkey, just part of it. But you see I had seen a picture of what a real turkey looked like at school and this wasn’t it. “But it doesn’t have any legs,” I responded, still crying. Of course Mom tried to explain that it was still the same thing. However, if you have ever tried reasoning with a five-year-old then you know that her situation was pretty hopeless. Her Thanksgiving was pretty much ruined that year because I had hurt her feelings. (Mom, I’m really sorry.)

So how does this tie into our walk as Christians? It’s pretty simple. I sat down that year with a pre-conceived idea of what a turkey looked like. (Okay, I know as a five-year-old I didn’t know what pre-conceived meant, but that’s what it was.) Anyway, when that meal did not fit the picture I had in my mind then I automatically assumed it was wrong. As Christians we do this almost on a daily basis.

God knows us inside out and knows what is best for us. He also has a plan for our life which if followed will allow us to be truly happy and at peace. The problem is we sometimes jump ahead before finding out what he wants us to do. When faced with a situation or problem we get our own pre-conceived ideas of how we think it should be handled. And when God’s way doesn’t go along with our thinking then we get upset. We think he isn’t listening to our prayers or he’s ignoring us. That is so far from the truth.

All he is doing is waiting for us to really come to him with an open heart and an open mind to hear what he has to say about the matter. But often we are afraid to do that, because he may ask us to do something we don’t want to do. For example, say you have a co-worker who is difficult to get along with and perhaps has wronged you in some way. You may be sitting there waiting for Divine Providence to come down and help you get revenge. However, God may be sitting there waiting for you to forgive this person. You don’t want to forgive, you want to see revenge. Until you step back and say, “Thy will be done” and do what he asks then the situation may never be resolved.

“They will be done.” We say that at least once a week during the Lord’s Prayer on Sunday. But how often do we really pray it and mean it? It’s really a hard prayer to pray sometimes. We know it can put us in an awkward and perhaps unpleasant situation. But on the other hand it can also free us to be what God really wants us to be.

So we need to learn to put aside our pre-conceived ideas of how we think God should act in our lives and just let him act. The results can change our lives forever.

Written in November 1998 for my Church’s Newsletter.

As we stand on the threshold of Lent, I must confess that I am looking forward to this particular season of the church calendar more than I was for the previous Advent Season we recently went through. That may seem odd to many. Both periods are times of preparation and reflection. But, Advent has a more positive and upbeat aura that surrounds it. I mean, really, how can you not be excited while expecting the birth of a child, especially the Christ Child. Even the words that represent it, Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love evoke warm and fuzzy thoughts and feelings.

At least they are suppose to evoke these feelings. Last year during that season, I was having a hard time grasping and holding on to each of those. I was weighed down by many things. Battling a new bout of depression. Emotionally and physically drained as someone who works in healthcare and all we’ve faced the past two years. A mid-life crisis that had me looking back on choices made in my past, assessing where I am in the present, and trying to determine what I wanted for in my future. It was not a joyous time of expectant waiting that I was going through. I am thankful that at least by Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was able to feel more in the true spirit of the holiday and worship and rejoice at what the birth of the Savior meant for the world and for me personally.

But, I’m here to talk about Lent. The words and the aura surrounding this season are less positive and upbeat. Confession. Repentance. It’s not the things that usually make one jump and down and find themselves eager to engage in. So, why am I excited about it? For one, it’s a time that fits my personality and my spiritual ethos. I am a very introspective and reflective person. I love thinking the deep thoughts. I love asking and trying to answer the hard questions. Lent calls us into such a time. Secondly, although all the issues I mentioned earlier haven’t all been magically resolved, I am in a better frame of mind and better position to deal with them. My hope is that these next forty days will bring about more clarity to the things I am struggling with. In fact, that brings up another word that applies to Lent. Renewal. That is what comes on the other side of confession and repentance. And that is what I am most looking forward to.

If you would like, I invite you to join me in using a devotional guide for Lent that for me seems perfectly timed for my life right now. (Using that word perfectly is kind of ironic as you will soon see.) This guide is called A Good Enough Lent. It is based on a devotional book called Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection written by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. While the book is available for purchase, the guide is available as a free download and can be used independent of the devotional book. The link for the free download can be found here: https://katebowler.com/lent.